Fiancé died in car accident

My doctors suggested I find a bereavement group to discuss with like-minded people.

I am 30 years old, my partner of 7 years (aged 33) was in a car accident 18th october and was pronounced dead the scene. The accident was 200miles from home at 5pm, I was expecting him home at 8.30pm. When it got to 9. 10pm I worried and text him asking if everything was OK- he usually stops for a nap in tne services if he’s tired so I assumed this is what had happened. 9.12pm the police were at my door to tell me he had died 4 hours earlier.

My mother is worried that I am completely shut down and devoid of emotion. I think I am well and truly in the shock and denial stage still.

I’m not sure if what I have written is the correct thing to post, or of anyone can relate, but would be good to hear from others who may be in a similar / experienced a similar situation.

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I’m sorry you lost your fiance in a car accident. There are a lot of people on here whose partners died suddenly, hopefully they will comment on your post.
I agree you, like most of us, are suffering from shock and it takes a long time to get to grips with what has happened to you.
Hopefully you will be able to utilise this forum to vent some of your feelings

Truly truly sorry to hear how you lost your fiancé … the shock of this is just something only others who have lived through it can relate to so it’s good that you came by this group , I lost my girlfriend on the 23rd of October and I’m still in the denial stage too , it just ain’t fair is it , I totally understand and feel for you .

Dear Sminot90,

It is good that you have contacted your GP and that you have come to this site. I hope that you will find the posts and replies from others helpful. Your loss was so sudden and you are still in the early stages of your grief. There are no right and wrong ways in how to feel or how to express emotions, we all do it in our personal way, at our own pace, but it certainly can help a lot to talk with others who have gone through a similar loss, either in person or on sites like this.

There are organisations who specifically support people who have lost someone in a road traffic accident that may be helpful for you:

Brake – The Road Safety Charity
Victim Helpline: 0808 8000 401


The Brake helpline supports anyone bereaved or seriously injured through a road crash, whether the crash happened recently or a long time ago.

RoadPeace
Helpline: 0845 4500 355 9am-9pm daily


National charity for bereaved and injured road traffic victims, which provides information and support through its helpline, literature, local groups, and contact with people who have suffered a similar experience.

Jo

Hi @Sminot90, so sorry to hear you’ve lost your fiancé in this tragic way.

I’m not really sure I can help other than to say I can understand how you feel. I lost my twin sister in October, she was killed by another driver on her side of the road. She was only 32.

I never comprehended losing her, it’s left me feeling utterly lost, I’ve no energy, no appetite, she’s on my mind all the time. It’s all too much to think about sometimes hence I understand why you feel numb, it’s not a natural cause, because of a mental or physical illness, it’s just so sudden and traumatic - I just keep asking why?

Have you got any friends or family around for support? x

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hi @Sminot90 it is devastating but I understand the shock shields us a bit at first. I am really sorry you experienced this. I don’t know how you feel but can tell you that I am 40 and my healthy seeming husband had a heart attack on 19th October and died in our house. I feel like my future and myself also died but sometimes I can appear quite normal still.

I still can’t really believe it and sometimes I am fine and then another time like a wild animal. I was better in the beginning than I am now.

Do you feel anything or have you not cried? One thing I am learning here is there is no normal way to behave. This situation is not normal so how can we be.

@Sminot90 hope you are finding something to comfort you, let us know how you are doing if you feel like it.

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