My first Christmas without my darling dad who died in January. This time last year was horrific when we found out we were going to lose him.
He’s all I can think about, dad loved Christmas and was such a huge part of mine.
I feel as raw as I did when if first happened and I am struggling and feel like I want to scream at friends when they expect me to just get over it and be jolly and normal over Christmas.
I can’t wait for the festive season to be over. Does anyone else feel like this?!
Absolutely. I dislike every reminder of Christmas and just wait for it and New Year’s to be over. It’s hard when people expect you to be over it and be normal again. I don’t think we can ever be quite the same as before, but most who haven’t been through it don’t understand that. Sending a hug. 
I’m so sorry that you’re struggling. Same here, unfortunately. My mother died last month, and I’m finding it really hard. I’m a male in my 50s and feel I should be coping better. But I’m not. I’m really really sad and missing my mum so much.
It’s my first Christmas without my Dad too. He died in Febuary and like you our last christmas was a horrible time with him being so unwell and depressed.
Those memories have come flooding back these last couple of weeks and I’m back to breaking down in tears everyday again. Its so hard and I’m trying to be happy about christmas for my daughters sake but I really just want to hide away till its all over.
I feel like friends and even my partners family have completely fogotten about my loss which has actually made me feel quite angry too, should I really have to remind them why I’m sad again?!
Really sorry about your losses. I lost my dad in August. He d been ill since Feb. Im finding it v hard now. He loved Christmas too. I’ d like to do something nice to remember him Christmas day.
I’m so sorry for your loss and so close to christmas too. I think lossing a parent really hits hard no matter our age, its the one constant you’ve always had in your life and suddenly their gone. I’m in my 40s and I now feel very vunarable and alone without Dad. Some one said to me ‘just remember you’ve had your Dad for 40 years and loved each other for all that time, thats over half of your life, and you will grieve for him for the rest of yours and thats ok’. Its ok to feel sad everyday, totally normal in fact, be kind to yourself your loss is so recent and raw still.
Thanks everyone for your lovely comments of support 
hope you all got through Christmas ok. I wrote my dad a card and put it on his grave. Be kind to yourselves xxx
I found the lead up to Christmas extremely difficult. I lost my mother on Mother’s Day. She was my best friend as well as my mother. She always made Christmas special, whether we had money or not. So the first Christmas without her input in anyway was awful.
As Christmas Day arrived I found it very hard indeed, and had a few moments when I couldn’t breathe through the sobbing. But along with my father we got through it. Together.
I feel her loss in every aspect of my life now, and can’t get my head around the thought of not ever seeing her again.
I need to remember she is still with me, I just cannot see her.
Take care of yourself.