@moore18 I am so sorry that you and your family are going through this. You must be so shocked and numb. I lost my husband suddenly and unexpectedly and found him gone and tried to save him. I have been on this journey nearly 11 months and the rawness of the beginning has gone. I still cry most days and miss my husband so very much.
Take one minute at a time, baby steps. Accept all the help you can from family and friends and don’t hide your emotions from your children. Talk to them about their mum. You are still very early days and it will get better but you do have a journey with your children and will have bad days. Go with the flow and grief which will be a roller coaster. Maybe later on you could have family councelling.
Take care and big hugs xx
I simply cannot imagine how you must be feeling having to cope with your own grief in losing your soulmate while at the same time having to focus on the needs of your children who will also be struggling with feelings they simply cannot understand.
We all feel pretty much the same things,lonely being one of them. You are at the early stage so the best advice is to take things a little bit at a time,sadly I don’t know how to advise you about your children but I just hope that you can find the strength to get through a day at a time.
Friends and family will want to help so if you can then let them.
I wish that I could help more,keep posting on here as people be keen to support you where they can. Take care.
Firstly I am so sorry for your loss and the utter ordeal you must be going through. I lost my partner to cancer 5 weeks ago, I have 2 daughter 16&14 and I feel utterly alone. It’s frightening and a feeling like I have never experienced before. All I can say is don’t hide it from your children, they will be grieving too and need to know that they can cry or be upset in front of you as you can them. You need to grieve too, take it day by day. Plan something every day to do is what helped me even if it’s sorting things out like a bill etc. I can’t say I’m doing okay because I’m not but this site has helped so much knowing others just get how you feel.
I am so sorry for the loss of your wife. I can see you’ve had some great support from our members already. I just wanted to share a few links with you too:
You might also want to explore our Online Bereavement Support, where you find our Grief Guide self-help platform, our Grief Coach text support service, and how to access our Online Bereavement Counselling.
I know a lot of our members have found Winston’s Wish to be helpful in supporting their children through grief. You can also call their helpline on 08088 020 021.
For your 8 year old, books can be a good way to help children understand death and grieving. If you search online you can find lots of suggestions. Here is a list from Scholastic you might want to look at.
Firstly you our still in the very early days it’s all so raw your emotions our allover the place there our lots of groups for you and children this can be over whelming my advice is
Take care of yourself
Keep talking openly
Show your feelings
It’s ok to be angry/ sad/ cry
cry as a family
Be honest with your children about what happened let them ask questions
Share stories about there mum
Do a memory box let your children put item or notes it can be anything in a box if they feel sad or want to talk about there mum they can open it and be reminded of happy times
This will help you and your children
Get other family/friends to help out
Reach out for help
Talk to the doctor
Talk to the school they might be able help and keep an eye on them
Most importantly take time for yourself take baby steps your grief is very different to others because you have the if/why
Well done for reaching out on here. It is difficult to share how you feel but hopefully you will get some advice that you find beneficial.
I lost my partner too and it is a difficult time.
What I wanted to really say though is about mental health. I have always struggled and at times have felt suicidal, I have spent time in hospital. At the time, when I was so depressed I did not, could not, think clearly. I genuinely believed that my family would be better without me. I felt I was a burden, a liability and utterly useless, worthless. Since then my children have expressed how that made them feel, that they thought I did not love them enough to stay alive. I never ever considered that, quite the opposite. Please don’t let your children ever think this, talk to them and tell them that is not the case. I’m positive that your wife would not have been able to think or feel properly and undoubtedly loved you and your children.
I’m so so sorry that your wife did not get the help she needed and that you have been left to cope on your own.
I have felt really sad and depressed since my partner passed away but I have found some bereavement counselling which is helping. My best advice is to talk, to your friends and family, to your doctor, to anyone who is trying to support you.
I wish you well for your future.