Finding it hard to cope

I lost my husband 6 weeks ago from a sudden heart attack. He was 59. We had so many plans for the future. The hurt I am feeling is unbearable. I find morning are the worst. I just don’t want to get up to face another day without him. My daughter doesn’t live close to us but phones me everyday and come round when she can. I so miss having someone to talk to and hate the quietness of the house. And with the covid19 situation I don’t see neighbours to have a chat to. The loneliness is unbearable

Hi Madge, I am so sorry for the loss of your lovely Husband. Six weeks is not long you will still be in shock at the suddenness of his passing. Your story mirrors mine, my Husband also had a sudden heart attack. I agree the mornings are horrendous that split second you wake you think everything is fine till it hits you and you relive it all again. Usually we have the support of family and friends but with this lockdown it is not possible so you have done the right thing coming to this forum, the guys on here are amazing, supportive and compassionate. They have been my salvation and kept me sane. Like you I can’t believe all the plans and dreams for our retirement have been snatched away leaving me on my own. I know things are unbearable for you at the moment but as time goes on it will get more manageable, It has been 5 months for me now but I remember when it was 6 weeks for me also and I never thought I would still be here but I am, and you will get through it even though at the moment you feel like you won’t. Keep posting on here we all understand exactly what you are going through as we have all been there.
V xx

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Hi V
Thank you so much for your reply, it was so comforting and it is nice to know there are so many lovely people ready to listen and help…
I have days when I have flash backs … I keep seeing his face looking up at me while the paramedics were with him and I can’t get that image out of my mind … it absolutely destroys me. I know it’s only been 6 weeks but it seems an eternity since I saw him and it’s the thought of not seeing him again that hurts. I am so sorry that this happened to you … you can’t explain to anyone what it feels like can you …but I do hope that things are getting a little easier for you … take care and thanks again for replying to me
Madge x

Madge, it is the worst thing that will ever happen to you and will take a long, long time till you find yourself in a place of acceptance. The flash backs are all part of grieving, you will go through lots of different stages and emotions. I lost my Mum 3 weeks before my husband so a double whammy :sob: nobody understands what it is like until they have been through it and everyone on here can empathize with you so any time you need to talk come on here
Sending you a virtual hug :revolving_hearts:

Thank you so much … I am so sorry for your double loss … what a terrible time for you .
Knowing that when I’m having a ‘moment’ I can come on here and talk to someone really makes a difference xx

I know it sounds strange but knowing you are not alone helps a lot xx

It certainly does help xx

hi Madge28
sorry for your loss,
hope youll get a little comfort being on this site,And read a few posts that others in the same boat have written,As that will give you a better incite into how every body finds different ways to cope.There are several slightly off topic conversations were several of the mostly female members chat amongst them selves,Talking about any thing and every thing to get through the days and evenings.Just join in if you are so inclined.,Heres hoping you find a way to manage your emotions and find ways to cope.
Please dont hold back, release those tears as and when you need to,
Any way sorry for droning on.
regards ian

Hi Ian
thanks for getting in touch and dont apologise for ‘droning on’
It is so reassuring to know that there are so many kind people out there who have gone through what were going through and are there for us, It a terrible hurt for us all, I think the hardest part for me at the moment is the quietness. Rob was such a lively person and never a dull moment. We were together 24/7 as we worked together so thats difficult to get used to as well.
As for crying … well when you think you really have no more tears they all start again - where do they all come from?
I am so glad that I have found a friendly group and love the idea of not only sharing our grief but the off topic conversations is interesting.
Kind regards

Hi Madge, this forum will help you so much.
So sorry for your loss. When it’s sudden, the shock of it all is unbearable, it’s so hard to take everything in. I too lost my husband suddenly last November, and I’m still in shock. I’m glad you have found this forum, it has helped me so much and I would be lost without it. To be able to share thoughts, feelings and memories is such a comfort with lovely people that are all feeling the same .
We can all have a cry and maybe a laugh together.
Keep posting,
Steph x

hi Madge
your welcome.
just settle in and make yourself comfortable,hopefully you will be glad you reached out and joined this site.the majority of members are very friendly and try there best to welcome new members into the fold.and were all in the same boat,so understand emotions are all over the place at times,but just post what ever helps,as you wont be judged.
regards ian

Morning Steph
I so glad I found this forum. As you say the shock is unbearable and I feel as though Im going through the days in a complete dream. I keep expecting him to walk through the door which I do find hard to cope with, but I’m sure that this is something that everyone else has gone through. I had quite a bad day yesterday, but I kept reading the posts on this forum and felt comfort from some of the comments I read. So thank you everyone for posting not only to me but in general … it ready does help believe me. The be able to share our stories is comforting.
I dont know if its just me, but I feel that I have to put on a brave face somethimes to my family because I know they’re going through the hurt and shock like me and I try to protect them from extra worry.
Love Madge x

Hi madge ,
Sorry you had a bad day yesterday , it’s still so early days for you. I seem to have now a couple of ok days and then it comes crashing down and I have a couple of bad days .
It’s still comforting to read posts on here even if you don’t post yourself, it took me a couple of months before I joined, I was reading through all the posts, and so glad I’ve joined , I’d be lost without the lovely people on here, to share the same feelings , only we all know how we’re all feeling and family and friends around us can never really understand unless they have faced this.
I do have to put on a brave face around everyone even though I’m crumbling inside, I don’t want to upset and burden everyone with my feelings, so my brave face goes on , then I normally break down when I’m on my own. But it’s different on here, we can be ourselves we don’t have to put on that brave face, it’s comforting to chat on here, we are so lucky to have found this site.
I still think Tim is going to come through the door and that’s after six months, maybe because it was sudden with no warning, I don’t think I will ever believe it has happened.
Try and stay strong, we’re all here to listen and bring some comfort.
Steph x

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