Finding it harder as time moves on

I’ve only posted on here a couple of times. I lost my daughter Em in December 2018 - I still find it unreal to type these words. The pandemic brought a strange calm to my life as the world seemed to pause - the hardest thing I found was life going on as normal without Em in it. I worry that as life returns to normal I’ll find it harder than ever as our lives will never return to normal without Em - I’m not sure if that makes any kind of sense. I think I found the first year slightly unreal- I carried on working , kept busy, found a counsellor then the pandemic hit and I finally faced my grief - I’m now finding it harder than ever to see a future. I have a husband and 2 sons I love so very much but I miss my daughter so badly I can’t see a future.

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Hello Karen,

The pandemic has certainly changed a lot of people’s lives. I know you say you found a counsellor but have you tried Child Bereavement UK? They offer support to families who have lost a child- 0800 02 888 40

There is lots of other support out there, and I would really encourage you to reach out and speak to someone about how you are feeling.

The Samaritans are always there 24/7 if you need to talk about anything that’s on your mind. You can call them on 116 123 or email

Shout are contactable by text, 24/7. You can text SHOUT to 85258 and talk to them about anything.

You deserve care and support so please, Karen, get in touch with one of these services. If you have any concerns for your health or safety, call 999

Take care,


Online Community team

Dear Karen
I too lost my beloved daughter in 2018 and it is so hard. You are right … it does feel unreal and I still feel like that. Take baby steps and try to take one day at a time. Sadly photographs of Gemma are a trigger for me so I can’t have her photos around. But other people find them comforting and we all grieve in different ways. I have found life gets a little easier somehow … I am calmer now (most of the time).
I understand when you say that you worry about living your life without Em in it. I feel like that too, I find it upsetting sometimes that I feel as though I am moving forward and leaving Gemma behind.
I also have two other children and grandchildren and now I live my life for them and they are worth living for. But I always carry Gemma in my heart. My GP encouraged me to talk to her and I still do that as I find it helpful. I still feel that I have a relationship with her which continues even though I can’t see her anymore.
Keep going and just do your best as that is all we can go. Big hugs to you xxx

Dear Victoria
Thanks for your kind words and advice. You say you still talk to Gemma - I do that too with Em - I write to her as well in a notebook I keep just for that. I do try my best and I know my two boys need me its just so very hard some days and still unreal at times.
Much love to you xxx

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