Finding it very lonely

My husband died suddenly and unexpectedly at Christmas and I don’t have any children or close relatives. I was doing reasonably well but am in the elderly vulnerable section and are niw finding life very lonely and miserable. Do other people feel the same?

Dear @jade Thankyou for your post and I am so sorry to hear of the sudden loss of your husband and that you are finding things hard at the moment. It is still such early days to have lost someone so close to you and I’m sure that the lockdown has not made it easier at all. I am so glad that you have reached out here to us today because in this community we are here to support you and to chat if you need to I hope you will find comfort here knowing that you are not at all alone in your feelings .

Ailie x

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Hi I am so sorry for your loss. I lost my husband 18 months ago to cancer we were married 38 years. We were getting ready for retirement, the children had all left home and then the bombshell news of cancer. I think the trauma you go through watching someone you love go through this horrible disease and then the loss it takes it’s toll on you as a person. I have struggled with depression but I was just starting to see a bit of blue sky then came the lockdown. It is so lonely as I can’t see my grandchildren except from afar. It is hard getting through the days. I totally understand what you are going through I try to do a day at a time but the days can seem so long on your own . Take care x

Thanks for your message of support and obviously I understand exactly what you’re going through. It’s very difficult anyway but more so at the moment and we just have to hope things improve quickly.

Love and best wishes.


Hi Alilie Thank you so much for your message of support. It’s nice to know people care.


Hi Jade sorry to hear about your loss, it is a very hard and stressful time in normal times, let alone in the worlds crazy time at the moment, you are very early in your grieving and the world might seem a lonely place I lost my beautiful wife just a little over 4 years now to cancer she was 52 at the time and I was 43 it still tears me apart to this day luckily I have a wide circle of friends and family, I am so sorry to hear you are lonely but trust me there is a lot of lovely people and organisations out there to help you in your grieving and loss please don’t ever feel to proud to get in touch with these wonderful people don’t ever feel lonely take care stay safe x

I am so sorry for your loss I am 40 and have just become an adult orphan. I too don’t have any family of my own as in no husband or children. I do have family but they treated me despicably after mums death and its as if I lost everyone. I also had my close aunts die and only have one elderly uncle left. I also don’t have any close friends because of my job shifts . Therefore I have no one to go and meet and feel so alone. I did talk to a few others during the COVID as people were friendlier when I went for a walk but that is disappearing. People all now seem to have friends and family and aren’t interested in strangers anymore. It is really hard to make friends when you are in your late 30’s or 40’s. When you are pensionable age there are a lot of groups about to help people meet new friends. The only thing is because of the COVID many of these groups are on hold.
I think since you are in this group then you should think about joining your local group or a local theatre club or something once this covid is over and things start up again. You say you have no close relatives or children but did your husband have any relatives who would want to stay in touch with you if you just reached out. Maybe you could join a class on computing at your local community centre or library. Perhaps you could volunteer in a charity shop one day a week once they are over. My aunt volunteered in her local hospital cafe when my uncle died and she also was an active member of her local rural (WI) . The thing is you may not have any children but you may have a lot to give to young people like life advice and you may find happiness in doing that. When you are ready you will find some type of activity which suits you which will bring more people in your life. Unfortunately you have to be proactive in the looking for something and that can be very hard when you are so vunerable. Know that there are many people on here the same ahd thinking of you.