Finding life miserable without my wife

Since my wife passed away in April with breast cancer I have found life emptier, lonlier and miserable.It basically feels like life around me has resumed normal service yet mine has changed in a way that I feel no matter what I do to distract myself from all the emotions that comes with grief I just feel lost.I had family support while I was caring for my brave wife during her final weeks but all that has dropped away leaving me spending most of my days alone and only grief and loneliness as my companion. I have tried to pick up past hobbies and interests but they don’t bring me the happiness they used to just distract me for a while.It just feels like everyday I am just going through the motions hoping that the mixed up feelings I have will ease through time because I devoted my life to my wife as she did to me and were soulmates for 36 years and when she passed she took my spirit and soul with her,hopefully when my turn comes I will meet her again we can recapture what we lost


Pondérer, you have my sympathy. It’s nearly 6 weeks since I lost my husband and I’m finding it hard to concentrate on anything for more than a few minutes. My mind just keeps going over and over the same things.
Shame you are not getting more support now when you need it.
Have you tried looking in your local library for things happening.
Talking Tables maybe where people meet up for a bit for a chat
Checkout website for Sport in mind which encourages people to get active to help with their mental health.
Are you able to try TaiChi or something?
There are lots of us here who know how you feel. Keep posting and we can encourage each other.
If you come across other things to try out let us know.

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I could have written this myself, my wife Joan died 18 months ago from a cardiac arrest,since then I just feel like I’m ‘waiting for god’
Nothing gives me any pleasure any more, we loved our holidays in Greece and I went to Kefalonia last year with some family, it was a break but not joyful, I think my stupid grief stricken brain expected Joan to be there just because I was in Greece.
In the early days I would wander from room to room expecting to find her cleaning or painting something, which she often did, I would ask myself “if she’s not with me, where on earth is she?” but of cause she is not on earth any more.
I am attending a birthday party today, and will see some people that I haven’t seen since the funeral and am dreading some of the daft things people, who don’t understand, say to us.
Best wishes mate.


Unfortunately I have limited mobility because of arthritis which has caused compression on my spine and have had to have two operations after it caused permanent damage to my spinal cord so I can’t get about much and spend most of my time at home.

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Hope today goes as good as it can for you.


Sorry you are having such a terrible time. I hope that you find some piece and enjoyment in the future.

Your wife will be waiting for you, don’t worry about that. She will also be sending you strength, love and willing you to find some fullfillment in your life.

If your not interested in old hobbies maybe learn a new skill or enroll on a course. Is there anything that you can think of that you would enjoy?

Due to my bereavement and seeing the lack of support for people in our situation, I’ve applied for a counselling course, in the hopes of becoming a bereavement counsellor. I’ve thought about counselling in the past, so decided to make a start.

Sending you a big warm hug xx


I’ve got to say from your posts I’ve read on here, I believe you will make a fantastic bereavement councillor :heart:



That’s lovely, thank you :smiling_face_with_three_hearts:


Thank you and good luck with your future endeavors.

2 Likes will make a fantastic bereavement counsellor. Good luck with it

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Aww thank you. I got excepted onto the course. It’s a first step :smiling_face_with_three_hearts:

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