Finding Purpose Again

Hi All,

First time posting here and I’m happy to have found a little community where i can talk about this a little more.

Like many here, i have lost my mother - very recently and completely unexpectedly (in late Nov) I woke up one morning, walked into her room and found her fallen out of bed in an unusual position (one that gives me nightmares).

I tried to resuscitate but it was no good. My world shattered.

I have really struggled to balance my emotions and lifestyle since then as immediately I was thrown into leading the charge to settle all affairs, arrange a funeral, look at selling and moving house and deal with various heightened financial expenditures. Even the morning of when it happened, when the family all arrived, all eyes were looking at me to make every hard decision. It’s the stress of being a leader.

I lived with my mom but after the event I can’t stay there anymore so I have been living on my sisters settee for the last few months while we settle the remaining affairs.

It has been an incredible challenge as i was releasing an album at the same time, meant to be one of the highlights of my life (the pr campaign started 4 days before she died). An extreme high and an extreme low all at once. It has been overwhelming at times.

I have some plans for the near future that I think will help me in this transition, sorting a few of my own personal affairs and doing a bit of travelling, but I can’t help think that i’ll be in a scary and lonely place about a year from now. I feel people corral around you in the formative months and then move away from you (in a sense saying, it’s time to deal with it).

I don’t know what life will hold at that point, I’m a young guy at only 36 and have lost both parents, I tell myself that I don’t have enough grey hair to be going through this but time will tell I guess.

My mother was an ill woman, I have a good career and a good social life but i placed my mother’s health and care at its core. Now that core is empty I kind of feel empty too. Like everything else I do is just a distraction from the growing loneliness.


Hello @Johncl87,

I can see that you’re new to the community, so I wanted to say that I am so sorry for the loss of your mum that brings you here. It sounds like you’ve been coping with such a lot since then. Well done on releasing an album - it’s an amazing achievement, though completely understandable it was a high and a low for you so soon after the loss of your mum.

I’m sure someone will be along to offer their support, but I wanted to share a few Sue Ryder resources with you that may help right now.

Thank you again for sharing – please keep reaching out and know that you are not alone.

Take care,

Hello John,

Sorry for your losses, and glad you’ve found this community. All I’d suggest is continuing to live in the present, and avoiding thinking / looking into the future, at all costs. It’s nice that you and your sister are close :yellow_heart:.

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I wanted to write again on this. Life is pretty ****ing unfair right? One moment you think you’ve got it all worked out and you’re just about getting by and then everything changes.

I am certainly not the same person I was 4 months ago, I have had extreme anxiety from everything that has caused a number of health issues that has me questioning what I’m doing now and what i’ll do with the rest of my own life…

Feeling pretty lost

Yep, life can be unfair. And I have definitely wondered what it’s all for. We’re certainly not here for the betterment of the planet and the non-humans that live here, because the human race has decimated Earth’s flora and the fauna.

My best friend and I decided that we don’t know why we’re here, but while we are here we may as well make the most of it, and see opportunities where they exist.

Absolutely, certainly got to live every day as much as you can! Tomorrow isn’t promised…

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