Finding today hard

Im really struggling tonight’s my husband died on may 7th at home with me and our beautiful 3 boys i just cant cope just now


Dear Lesley I am so sorry. I am only 7 weeks into this nightmare situation that we all find ourselves in on here. It is such early days for you and you are probably still in shock. I know that feeling and you will be overwhelmed and everything is so raw. Keep posting on this site. It has been a lifeline for me. Everyone is so supportive and non judgmental. Sending you lots of love and strength to get through another day xx

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Oh Lesley it is so hard and painful to loose your husband like this - especially when you have kids to try support as well.
Try not to think about anything else apart from the next few minutes or hours, and then just try make it through the day and then to bed and hopefully you will be so exhausted that you can get some rest.
You can cope even though you feel you can’t. Try find that inner love that’s still there ( hiding amongst your grief ) and use that to build your strength for each day.
Just one day at a time. And make sure to look after yourself xx

Thanks so much Jody, im i complete mess just now and im struggling to even be here, if it wasn’t for my boys i would be a lost cause. I hope you are ok, our pain is indescribably. Please keep in touch. Sending love and cuddles your way X x x

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Thank you so much for your lovely words of comfort. It’s so hard and i miss him so much. My boys are broken and as a parent there is nothing worse than when you can’t fix things for your kids but i just can’t and i feel helpless. We are very close and have lots of cuddles but nothing takes away the pain. My middle boy spoke at his Dad’s funeral and i have never seen this before but everyone clapped, his words were so beautiful and true about what an amazing Dad and husband he was. Just 52 year old. So unkind to have lost him so soon. Sending you lots of love X x x

My youngest son spoke at his dad’s funeral although he was scared. It too was beautiful and I felt so proud of him.
He spent a long time preparing for it and I never realised how much of an influence his dad had had on him before he spoke.
I will never forget what he said. Yes they clapped too knowing what it had cost him to do it.
I also wrote a poem I read out at my husband’s funeral because I felt compelled to honour him in some way.
It was because I couldn’t tell him before he died.

How amazing that you and your son were able to do that you should be very proud of yourselves. I wrote my words and Poem but Finlay had to read them for me. I just couldn’t speak in front of 350 people. It’s just so hard now that the funeral is all over and we feel like there’s nothing more we can do. Do you feel worse now than you did just after your partner died? I do and so many people tell me it starts to feel better and i just think it’s so much worse. My youngest boy just finished his GCSE’S today and left school. He was so heartbroken that his Dad wasn’t there and i couldn’t make him feel any better and i should always be able to do that for my boy’s. Each day it feels like another huge challenge. I want to send you love and cuddles X x x

It’s 8 weeks today since my beautiful partner passed away suddenly. In some ways I think I feel worse now. Initially I was in shock and there was so much to do organising the funeral. Reality has set in and I’m not sure I can face another 20 years on my own. People have started to drop away and when I do see them they seem reluctant to mention his name. It’s heartbreaking x

I have just joined this forum, and relate completely, the heading Finding today hard, i thought i was doing so well, ive been so strong and everyone has said how brave, my husbands funeral and celebration of his life was Monday and was beautiful, ive been busy lots of support, but i woke this morning with the overwhelming pain i had 3 weeks ago when he passed in my arms :unamused:. Thinking of you all such sad times. :pensive:

It really is so hard Jody, i don’t know about you but absolutely nothing helps me feel any better. Even when in the company of family i still get no comfort. It is simply that not a single person can give you the love your partner gave you the cuddles the fact that without words you could know what each other was thinking that closeness can’t be offered by anyone else. Its just so painful. Take care lovely X x x

I wish i could say as the weeks have passed it feels better but it doesn’t. I can’t imagine feeling any better for a long time yet. Just keep trying to get past the next minute then hour. Sending cuddles X x x

That’s it in a nutshell Lesley. I was with our close friends last night but returning to a silent house just wiped out any pleasure and highlighted the fact we are all so alone.
Trying to keep occupied today and distract myself from these feelings. Sending love and thinking about you too xx

So how do we do today? Six weeks after he passed away is Fathers day, my 3 boys are broken and now they have to deal with this. It’s so unfair, my youngest is only 16 and his Dad is gone. I cant stop my boys broken hearts, i feel helpless, all i can do is cuddle them and try to make them feel safe X x x

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It is so unfair and even more difficult on Father’s Day, if that’s possible. 8 weeks for me today and I have woken up very anxious.
All you can do is get through each hour at a time and hopefully the boys can remember the happy times with their Dad. Easier said than done but your cuddles will help and make them feel secure. I wish we had someone to cuddle us. Thinking of you today and sending a big hug :smiling_face_with_three_hearts: xx


Sorry i didn’t get back to you yesterday, it was a tough one. How are you doing today? X x x

I am trying to keep busy to distract myself but just keep coming back to the fact that I am so alone. I have family and friends who are very good but deep down it’s not their company I want. Trying to get through a day at a time but struggling to see any future without him. I will of course do my best, as it is what he would have wanted. The loneliness is crippling but I know we all feel the same. Let’s see what today brings and I hope it is an easier day for you too xx