Can anyone help me… I discovered my sister in laws body on Tuesday. She has been my best friend and confidant for nearly 18 years. I live away from all of my own family, and she has been everything to me. I can’t stop replaying the moment I found her, or how it felt when I realised she wasnt breathing. I have autism and ADHD so I already overthink everything. I can’t sleep, I can’t eat… how long will this feeling last? 
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I’m so sorry, that must have been horrible. 
I know it’s difficult to stop the thoughts. It’s very early for you yet and they will ease with time, but if it’s so bad you can’t sleep or eat I think you should talk to your GP about it. You might benefit from seeing a counsellor.
Mindfulness is something many feel can help, there are tips online. Finding ways to snap out of thought loops by making yourself aware of your surroundings, like noting three things you hear, see and feel, or finding items of different colours in the area where you are. I’ve also tried coming up with an animal for each letter of the alphabet, both forwards and backwards. Anything that distracts your brain from the images.
Wishing you peace. 
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Thank you so much for taking the time to give such a lovely helpful response… I honestly appreciate it more than you know xx
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Kaka, of course you aren’t eating or sleeping. This is normal in the grief process. We walk around confused, fearful, anxious, sleepless, in a fog with no appetite for a while. I think it was 4 months before I could eat and sleep more than 4 hours. Now, 15 months from finding my husband on the floor of our bedroom, I am almost back.
You must eat and here is how I handled it: I kept boiled eggs, chicken salad, green salad, cheese, fresh cut fruits and veggies in the fridge and nuts, raisins, crackers in the pantry. Eat a bite or 2 of something every hour even if you must force yourself.
Sleep will come again. Just not yet. Not to worry, you will sleep again. It’s a guarantee.
Meanwhile, let yourself grieve. It is painful, but a necessary part of the whole. Be kind to yourself and understand that you aren’t going crazy, you are grieving and it will all get better in time. That is a promise.
With love from across the pond,
Peaches.
Lala, not Kaka!
What you’re feeling is normal in the circumstances. The racing thoughts and loss of appetite are often accompanied by poor sleep and feelings of anxiety as well. You lost someone special, those feelings don’t recede quickly. I’m three months down after finding my partner of 40 years dead and I m still struggling. Give yourself time but if you can’t cope see your GP.
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