First Anniversary

Last April, I persuaded my father to go and stay at the local Sue Ryder Hospice for a medication review. In the March he was told that the cancer from a malignant melanoma had spread. Because of other health issues my father was offered palliative care. His medication was changed following his diagnosis which resulted in him having frequent falls. This led to me persuading him to go for a medication review. My father was admitted to Sue Ryder for a medication review on April 22nd, on April 28th I was informed that he had tested positive for COVID. Sue Ryder had their first positive case the day my father was admitted. My dad was discharged two days after he tested positive. He lived alone and I was his primary carer. I couldn’t be with him because I also care for my daughter who has a chronic heart condition. The Sue Ryder Home Carers attended my dad on the Friday, Saturday and Sunday. I received calls telling me he was found on the floor, he’d been sick, couldn’t walk, etc. But despite calling out an ambulance on three occasions he couldn’t be admitted to hospital because he had “capacity”. I eventually spoke to a doctor on May 3rd who over ruled my dad and the carers decision and had him admitted to hospital. He died a week later. Coming up to the first anniversary of his death, I still feel so guilty and angry. Guilty for persuading him to go to Sue Ryder for a medication review where he caught COVID. Angry about him being discharged alone and angry about not being with him when he died. I feel like I let him down when he needed me most

Hi you did not let him down the system did. You were looking after his best interest and you managed to have him admitted to hospital.
You did all you could under the circumstances of covid. You were limited.
I think guilt affects us all but eventually we realise we did our best with what we had.

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