First birthday without Mum

Tomorrow is my 36th birthday, the first without my Mum and I’m dreading it. How do I celebrate the day without her? All I can focus on is the things that will be missing,

  • her singing to me
  • her message on my Facebook wall even though she will see me
  • her name in my birthday card - Love always Mum
  • the yearly presents she would buy me: socks, pjs and smellies (always the same)
  • insisting on having a cake even though I’m 20 years too old

My Dad is trying so hard, he’s bought presents and a caterpillar cake and we’ve arranged a small family evening with my siblings away from the house but I just can’t get rid of the things that will be missing tomorrow.

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@Kabixixi hi I am so very sorry for your loss I lost my mum many years ago and my dad and in April I lost my partner pauline who was and always will be my soulmate I know its going to be so hard without your mum but it’s the day she brought you into the world and for her and your dad its a very special day just think of the love she had for you and love you have for her and just do the best you can thats all you can do my thoughts are with you and your family and happy birthday for tomorrow you know she will be with you and she lives on in you and your siblings and the love she had for you all and the love you have for her that never dies stay safe take care

Sorry for the loss of your Mum.
All the firsts are tough. It was my Birthday on 29th June. I have 2 lovely photos of her, one in my lounge and one in the bedroom. I kiss these photos every day. I sit in her chair in my garden and talk to her in my head.

I did what I used to do when she was here. Went for a family meal and spent time with friends. I really missed her being there, the hugs, laughs. There was a hole on my Mantelpiece where her lovely wordy card would have been.

Take comfort in your family and friends. I’m sure she will be with you in Spirit.

Sending you comforting hugs :hugs:


Hi Kabixixi,

I hope your birthday was as good as possible. I can relate, just turned 38 - my first without my Mum although last one she was in hospital (but was awake on my birthday). I felt so awful the night before and first thing on my birthday, like she’s just been ripped away from me. She loved celebrating her children’s bdays. My dad too tried very hard, bless him, and in the end we had a nice day (once I’d stopped burying my head in the duvet) Just very, very strange. Still feel quite disorientated about it. Big hugs x

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