First birthday without mum

It has been 7 months and it is not getting better. My first bday without mum was painful as I always spent it with her; my dad actually forgot and did not even call.

Someone asked me whether I still need mum at the age of 44. I find it hard to explain that my grief is not just about losing mum, it is about her losing her life so early. My mum just turned 66, she was getting ready for the next phase of her life, enjoying retirement, grandchildren, travelling… Everything she was looking forward to so much was suddenly and tragically taken away from her. That is why I still cry every day, the loss of her dreams, hopes, pleasures, laughs… It hurts too much.


I lost my mum 5 months ago so I know exactly how you feel and how dare someone ask if you still need your mum, I will always need my mum, who wouldn’t? I honestly don’t know the mentallity of some people they are so insensitive.

It’ll be my birthday in November which I’m absolutely dreading. Then we have Christmas coming, my mum loved Christmas so it’s going to be such a painful reminder.

I’m sorry I don’t have anything to say that’ll ease your pain but seeing what someone said to you made me so mad! And I wanted to say don’t let them ever make you feel like you shouldn’t feel the way you do.

Also I wanted to let you know that you’re not on your own on here x


Hi, I’m sad that anyone could ask such an insensitive question…:cry: We all want and need our loved ones in our lives, no matter what age we’ve got to. I completely understand your feelings about losing your Mum at her relatively young age, she still had so much of life to experience. My Mum had just celebrated her 80th birthday so not the same situation, yet I still thought she would go on for years. I think, because her death was sudden and unexpected, it just came as a huge shock that seven months on I’m still trying to adapt to. It’s my birthday in September so I’m anticipating an emotional time ahead. Best wishes xx

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