Im 19 and I lost my father 2 months ago. He was only 51 years old.
He died on the day of the big earthquake in turkey.
His death was extremely sudden and i still don’t know how i feel about it nor how to process any of it.
I cry very easily even if his name comes up, when i look at his pictures or listen to his voice messages.
It seems unreal to me and I just don’t want to accept it.
My 20th Birthday is coming up in about less than a month.
Usually birthdays never really matter to me, especially my own. Never thought it was a big deal tbh.
But this time it feels different because my dad won’t be here.
My dad used to write me poems on every birthday of mine. He was artistic, loved poetry and writing.
He’d write poems specifically for me about him and I and our bond, they were beautiful.
Now they are memories and i will cherish them forever but it’s honestly heartbreaking to me that I will never get a poem from him again.
I won’t hear him say happy birthday to me.
i know it may not sound like a big deal, but to me it feels devastating.
Its even worse knowing that there will be many more important moments, bigger events and accomplishments in my life where he won’t be at…
He just won’t be here.
I miss him everyday. It’s extremely hard for me but i guess it was about time for me to grow up.
Idk how i’ll get through it, i just know i must.
I just wanted to say how lovely it is that your Dad would write you poems on your birthday each year.
It is a big deal that your precious Dad won’t be there for your birthday and it’s a devestating loss. Do you have any plans for your birthday? You don’t have to answer but I hope you have a special day.
Its my first birthday without either parent (they died within weeks of each other at christmas just gone) next week.
I am dreading it.
I haven’t got any words i can give to comfort you except to say, i can appreciate acutely how you feel x
Writing poems and keeping it as a tradition is a lovely way to honour your dad. I understand about not making a big deal out of birthdays. I always like birthdays for others but prefer my own to be low key.
I am doing ok, thank you. I am keeping busy as I find this helps with the grief. I am always here if you ever want to chat.
I lost my dad November 2022 and had many of the ‘firsts’ in close succession. Christmas, Dad’s birthday in Jan and then mums, mine and my brother’s Feb and March. It’s very difficult not having your loved ones there. People say it gets easier but I think these occasions will forever feel strange.
@sananeaq just thought I’d reach out. My Dad died 6 weeks ago, a week before his own Birthday & 2 weeks before mine. I too was dreading it because he always made a fuss. I really didn’t want to celebrate it but my mum insisted. It was hard but we got thru it. It’s nice that he wrote you poems on your special day. Perhaps you could express your love for him by doing something equally creative. Best wishes. X
Im sorry for your loss. Thanks for reaching out
That must’ve been awful… i hope you got thru it okay.
I’m sure he also would’ve wanted you to celebrate your special day atleast a little… Take care x
I don’t have anything planned yet tbh but i never liked making big deals out of birthdays anyway