First Christmas without mum


My name is Georgina and this is my first post on the Online Bereavement Community.

I lost my lovely mumma is June this year after a short battle with cancer. We thought we would have several more Christmas’ with her after her diagnosis, but we only got one. My mum’s name is Mandy, and she was 56 when she passed away, i’m 27 and live with my dad.

Christmas is my mum’s favourite time of the year, and I am trying my hardest to be merry and happy as she would love me to be, and she was always at this time of year, but since today is the 1st December I am struggling a lot more than I thought I would, and it’s starting to feel forced and so knackering to keep up.

My dad isn’t coping well with the loss of mum, and it is beginning to show both in the home and in his nature. I want to decorate the house, and be happy and look back on my memories with her at this time of year as happy ones, but I think it is too soon for that and all my memories feel sad at the moment.

Not only is it the loss of my mum that is making me pause for thought, but it is also leaving my dad on his own. If I go out to celebrate with my partner or extended family, he is home on his own, and I don’t want him to be lonely and sad. But me being in the house isn’t enough, he is missing his wife the same as I am missing my mum.

I don’t think I have a question, or any wisdom to share along with this post. I simply wanted to share what I’m thinking and feeling and hopefully resonate with someone or gather some advice from anyone who has walked in my shoes.

Many thanks,


Hi Georgina,

I lost my mum in July. I’m 33 and in a similar situation to you. I don’t live with my dad but I’m the only one in the area. I just wanted to say I feel the same but got given a very good piece of advice. Don’t feel guilty when you do something for you. Now I need to take that advice and do the same.

It’s not easy!

Hope you can get through Christmas as best you can. My mum loved Christmas and she wouldn’t want me to be sad as I am sure your mum wouldn’t want you to be either.

Take care.


Hi @GeorginaD1 am Rhonda am new on here am so sorry for the loss of your mum, I lost mine 2 months ago, I feel the same as you today ave been really struggling.

I haven’t really spoke to anyone at work today then hearing Xmas songs on the radio I just want to break down and cry, everything just feel like it’s not happening to me like a dream am so lost and alone I feel like part of me died with my mum but am trying to deal with it the best I can and that’s all you can do aswell.

I put my mum and dads Xmas tree up last week for my dad because he knew as well as I do that mum loved Xmas so there was no doubt that it wasn’t going up, it was hard doing it but we got there and we’re glad we done it.

Sending love

I feel you pain I work in a school so up went the tree wednesday it was hard going as my mom was all about christmas . We had jumpers hats waistcoat you name it my mom brought it. I went to work to find the teacher had grottoed the class room light toys it did look very christmas and bright with songs playing But that was it I broke i couldnt breath I had to go to my boss and tell him how silly I felt that I could cope with a few light and music but talking on here has helped. My children put up my tree for me and I watch you have to honour your mother to easy the pain. Greif is as unique as a figerprint but we want our greif to be witnesed we want our pain to be seen to be heard . Sending much love xx just do the best you can and be there for your lovex ones