First close family death

My gran was diagnosed with cancer in March 2020.
She died in august 2020.
This is my first close death and it’s still really hard to imagine the rest of my life without her.
I’m not sure how I’m supposed to feel, how do I know when I have processed it? Do you just get used to them not being around? I’m so grateful to have got to age 26 with her in my life but I’m so clueless about how I’m supposed to feel and deal with the emotions. I also have a 7 yo who seemed to accept it immediately. She talks about her regularly which I find myself shutting her down because I don’t want to get upset or for it to upset anyone else in the family.

Your are not alone my flower. Your 7 yo they say children are so resilient and that we can often learn from them . My dad years ago had to have major heart surgery and during operation his heart stopped but luckily he got through it, at the time I was in such a state thinking he would go but my nephew 6 at the time pulled us through. I’m in my 50s and have lost a few relatives it’s normal to feel what your feeling and it will get easier in time, crying is natural relieve and it’s obvious you were so very fond of your grandmother. She is still with you and all the memories will help. I think at the moment it’s harder for us to grieve as of the restrictions and top bless you you’ve experience your first close death. Thinking of you

Hello Loubra,

I’m so sorry to hear about the loss of your gran. It sounds as though you’re feeling very confused right now and looking for guidance.

I’m glad that you’ve been able to share how you are feeling here, and I hope that you find the community a good source of support. Everyone here has experienced the loss of a loved one and will understand some of what you are going through.

Sue Ryder offers an online bereavement counselling service. This is a free service and sessions are held via video chat so you can attend from home. There’s more information about this service here:

Another good place to get support is Maggie’s Centres: They offer bereavement support groups. You can also make an appointment with your GP and ask to be referred to counselling or support services in your local area.

Take care,


Online Community team