Well here I am in Portugal having my first holiday alone since losing my husband a couple of years ago.
Am I enjoying it - not really - I feel so strange and alone, should I be here - don’t know. It seemed a good idea when I booked it, just felt it was something I had to do to prove to myself I could move forward and do things by myself. I’m trying to fill the days but I feel really lonely, especially at meal times and when I go for a coffee. Everyone seems to be in a couples situation, I feel like an oddity. Only been here 3 days and another 11 days to go, just felt I need to share and hope someone has already done this and has any tips how to cope really.
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Maz1948
I admire you for travelling abroad on your own. I know it’s something I couldn’t do and wouldn’t attempt. I hope you enjoy yourself and have a good holiday. Best wishes.
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Hi @Maz1948
No tips from me I’m afraid. So far I simply dissolve in tears at the very idea of a holiday without my husband.
You are very brave and I do hope you can find something to enjoy while you are there.
Love to you.
Karen xxx
Hi @Maz1948. Sorry you are having a bad time. But its understandable. Nothing ventured, nothing gained!
I wish I was in Portugal, so I could come and talk to you. Doing things on our own, the first time, is difficult for us all. One of my strengths is that I’ll talk to anybody, especially when Im out eating or drinking a coffee. Its amazed me how many people are eager to chat, its too easy to assume that they are happy, often they were fed.up with each other and are all too eager to talk to someone else. You soon find out! Try to find out. Ive never been rejected. I have read about “aloneness versus loneliness”, they arent the same thing. Maybe google it. Sitting quietly with my thoughts, reading, people watching etc are now quite comfortable for me.
Good luck, hang in there!
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Hi Tykey, thankyou. I’m 4 days in now & yes it is getting easier. Making myself go up & chat to people, I’ll get there. This sounds really old fashioned I know, but I still feel odd ordering myself a glass of vino, as a women you do get some odd looks.
Anyhow off to google loneliness versus aloneness now & thankyou again for the positive input.
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Im sure you will be getting better each day. But feel free to let us all have updates on how things are.
The grieving journey has quite a few “elephant traps of emotion” along the way. We get through them with a positive outlook, and life begins to make sense again.
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Well done for going. Massive step. I went on holiday to Ibiza last September following my husband passing in April. Luckily, I wasn’t alone as I have a son with special needs, so I was kept busy entertaining him. I was very Worried about going away for the first time without my husband, but it was actually quite freeing being in a different environment and one we had never travelled together to. I hope you can make the most of your time in Portugal. Good luck
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I think you should be so proud of yourself, talking to strangers is not easy but you have found the courage and had such lovely responses - what a great tip. I hope the wine ordering gets easier and you feel the warmth of the sun on your face. You deserve it xxxx
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Hi again @Maz1948 . I just thought that when you get back home, you’ll think " Im proud of doing that!! I’m strong enough to do anything":
Hi Tykey, yes I do hope so. Been on a 6 mile walk today, through the woods & back along the beach- very relaxing. I think I’m slowly unwinding, thankyou for thinking of me.
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That sound brilliant @I’m in awe.
Karen xxx
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Hi again @Maz1948 . You must be just finishing your adventure, or even on your way home about now.
I was wondering how the rest of your adventure unfolded. However, I would stay another couple of days until the snow goes away!
Ha ha Tykey, yes not looking forward to the cold weather at all. The holiday has gone very well overall. I found my confidence ( fake it till you make it) and actually have found the whole experience very enlightening. I’ve walked many miles and found out that actually I can do this & enjoyed it as well. Chatted to other solo travellers & it makes you realise you’re not the only one out there on your own. So, will I do it again - yes I will. Coming home Saturday and thankyou for your interest & tips- it makes you feel better somehow knowing someone is interested. So back to blighty & good old Yorkshire ( even if it is blooming freezing).
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Well done @Maz1948 I’m so pleased you have enjoyed your holiday in the end. You are an inspiration to many of us in taking the plunge and going.
Safe journey.
Karen xxx
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You should be bloomin proud of yourself @Maz1948 . You have given me hope that I may also find the courage to do this one day. Safe flight home and wrap up warm xxx
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Hi again @Maz1948 . What a brilliant outcome, be very proud. Just to cheer you up, here’s the view out of my South Yorkshire window this morning
The good news is that it will be much warmer on Sunday.
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