Hello. I’ve got to do a night alone soon and I’m going to do it Thursday. I’ve decided to do it a night at a time initially with more consecutive nights as I get used to it . My friends and family can only do so much with overnight stays . I’m working my self up already !
Probably won’t go to bed that night and just stay on settee as I have crippling anxiety so don’t want to freak myself out in bed and have that association. Any tips please 
thank you
Thank you so much for your lovely reply. 
It isnt easy for the first few nights, the night seems long and lonely
Why not get used to it by going to bed during the day. Not to sleep, maybe take a book, maybe for just an hour. It’s a lot easier when you know it’s just for a short time. Bit by bit just extend the time.
Hard to believe, I know the feeling, but the fear eases in time.
Thank you for the advice
@Copenhagen1
Make sure you will be warm and comfortable enough, have a duvet or blankets and pillow. Have easy snacks available and do hot drinks. Have something to cuddle, soft toy or an item of his clothing perhaps. Have everything to hand. And some sound, TV or radio, and something to do like read. I find I can eventually fall asleep with the TV on.
And what about a reward for making it through to breakfast, like strawberries or whatever is a treat for you. Or get something bubbly to put in a hot bath.
We’ll be thinking of you. If I’m awake I’ll check in, but I’ve actually got someone staying from Thursday for a few days for only the second time since my husband’s funeral so I’m going to have to try without the TV on.
Thank you. Some good tips.
I hope you enjoy your friend staying. .
Having my wife’s two dogs cuddling up on the duvet is a huge comfort! The price of having the odd lick on my face at 3am is a price well worth paying
Yes my dog has taken up the bed space and snores which I’m happy with as its life
I’ve been through this, and I won’t lie it feels weird and scary and horrible at first but I found I got used to it over time but I still have moments 4 nearly 5 years down the line it hits you again and you have an oh my god moment. I do agree establishing a routine helps do you like to read? Watch a movie? Colour? Try establishing self care time so you can do what you enjoy before you sleep sometimes it all seems so scary all you can do is fall asleep and get to the morning , I’m still figuring it out myself it definitely helped me to know the house was secure ( doors locked etc ) it doesn’t take away the anxiety but it helps.
I showered and went downstairs at gone 2 am and then woke up in the chair about 4:30 so I dragged myself upstairs and
I had a melatonin tablet and then slept till 6.50 and then I’ve just come back to bed after letting the dog out. . Had a bit of a doze so wasn’t too bad and was okay x
I know we often put ourselves under pressure to conform with " what other people consider normal". Such as 11pm is “going to bed time”, add on the standard 8 hours, set the alarm for 7 am and try to sleep through. Then think it’s a problem if it doesn’t work out. I used to beat myself up if I didn’t achieve this.
But I realised I’m not everyone else, I need to be “ME”. I do what come naturally. In some cultures it’s the custom to have a bit of a sleep, wake up, get up, do something (eg hoovering, reading, have a sarnie) ,go back to bed and get a few more hours kip.
Once we worry about It, it’s difficult to get through the night.
If it suits me to go to bed at 7pm, I do just that, knowing that in the early hours I might well be up, happily hoovering, then take a sarnie back to bed with the dogs. Sometimes I might never go back to bed.
It’s now just “as it is” and I am “as I am”. It’s no stress, I now never worry about sleeping. At least I know that the hoovering is already done😉
My dogs are quite comfortable with it, and who am I to upset them.
Last night I went to bed even earlier (I’d been out and let the house get cold, so why should I bother warming up the house, achieve that, then go to bed. So I went to bed at 6.30, listened to the radio, went to sleep about 8, woke up about midnight (I think), got up for a bite to eat and a cup of chocolate, went back to bed an hour later, woke up again at 4.30 so got up and started my day.
So maybe don’t set sleeping targets, just take it as it comes. It is what it is
Good luck.
I was beginning to think that i was just a moaner, but you like myself have had time to move forward even if slowly. I too used to dread the nights even now i still sleep on “my side” of the bed.
My worst habit is sitting downstairs with the curtains open. I get to see folk walking past but really i keep expecting her car to pull up on the drive. And you are right routine does help, i make an effort to listen to the radio or playing music to drown out the silence. Thank you for your comments.
Thank you for your help
I’m so glad I’m also helping you.
I have also been recommended putting the fan on to sleep that doesn’t work for me though keeps me up it’s the noise for me is all but relaxing plus my cats don’t like it they refuse to sleep on the bed if it’s on. 
my tv is a godsend.
My dad before he died was in an a care facility that was kind of like a hospital but not quite I have caught myself thinking he’s still there at times so I don’t feel so alone, or else it overwhelms me and I get so scared by how big the world is and how alone I am, ive even gone to disassociating when i think like this I’m very much with reality though and know he’s not and I’ve got his ashes but it somewhat gives me a break and helps. It kind of also helps to know ive got neighbours around me to truly know im not alone? so that could be another technique to use to cope.