Hi, this is my first time on this group. I didn’t know where to turn because I don’t think my friends and family understand. The grief comes in waves and was worse than ever this evening. I’m ok now, but exhausted. I’m 67 and this is the first time I’ve lived on my own and early mornings and late evenings are the worst. I hope that sharing how I feel with people here will help.
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Janet53
I’m sorry you are having such a hard time. Firstly, welcome to this forum where you can just speak what you are feeling with people who understand what you are going through
Please be reassured that whatever the cause of your grief there is help here for as long as you need it. We all suffer in different ways after a bereavement, and finding yourself at a certain age never having been alone in your life, can be frightening. You will cope, you will manage. As you get stronger you might even have the courage to reach out and ask for help. People close to us long to help when we’re grieving and if that help is practical so much the better.
I hope my response has helped and that others will reach out to you and give comfort.
All the best Janet,
Miche54
Thanks Miche for your reply. It’s only been 9 weeks since my husband died. I had a particularly bad evening yesterday, and this morning wasn’t much better. My friends and family only see the side of me that is holding it all together but overall I am coping.
Janet
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So very sorry for your loss Janet.
Nine weeks is a very short amount of time. It takes much longer until you even start to feel a bit better.
I had days where I would wake with a sick, empty feeling, it’s been 10 months for me today and that no longer happens.
Please tell your friends and family how you truly feel, they will want to help you and I’m sure they will help you.
Everyone on here does absolutely understand how you feel though.
In the early days it takes every ounce of strength you have just to get through the fog that engulfs us.
You will get used to living on your own too. I’m 61 and didn’t even consider that I’d ever live alone, but, again after 10 months I’m getting used to it.
I understand you feeling exhausted too, bereavement and the overwhelming grief which follows is the most exhausting thing I’ve ever experienced.
Grief does come in waves as you say. Eventually those waves won’t be quite as forceful as you learn to live with them. It’s not something we ever wanted to get used to, but unfortunately we have to.
Grief is the price we pay for loving someone so much. I feel so lucky to have shared such love with my husband.
We’ll love them forever Janet, even though they are no longer physically with us.
Take care, Janey xx
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Hiya Janet I’m the same especially night times just sit thinking lost my husband 1 year ago can’t get used to being on my own lv annie
Hi Annie
I hope you get used to being on your own. Do you have friends and family nearby?
Janet
So true about the love Janey, I had 33 wonderful years and so many memories.
I would have loved longer but he was unwell with stomach cancer so it wouldn’t be fair. I am so grateful that he wasn’t in pain and died peacefully in his sleep at home with me.
Thank you for your kind words.
Janet
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I do Janet and there very good but they have there own lives and have a wonderful friend but as you know it’s hard Janet lv annie x
Janet 53, hi. I fully understand where you are at. I too am living on my own for the first time. I’m 66 and my husband died on November 10th. I hate living on my own. Mornings aren’t too bad but afternoons and evenings are so lonely. I keep the radio on when I go out as I hate to come back to a quiet house. I try to be out a lot as I feel so lost on my own at home. I keep imagining him coming back home and saying hello. Lots of virtual hugs to you and me and all of us who are grieving .
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Oh bless you, that’s such a very short time for you too. It’s a dreadful thing to have to try and come to terms with, it’s so difficult.
Big hugs
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Meseaber, I do exactly the same. I’m ok when I’m out seeing people but the evenings are awful, especially when I go to bed. It’s great to be able to talk to people who feel the same xx
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Hi Janet
I’m the same age as you and lost my husband at Easter. Those eight months seem like yesterday and agree the evenings and waking up alone are the worst. The sickness feeling and tears just creep up on you and just when you’re feeling like you’ve made progress it smacks you back down again. I’ve have an amazing set of friends and close family that have been brilliant and without my two sons and grandchildren don’t know if I could have survived. Plodding onto Christmas and shall join in as much as I can just want this awful year over with.
Stay strong
Georgina
Hi Georgina
I also have great friends and family but they don’t see the awful lows I have, but then I don’t think I would want them to see me like that. It’s enough that they are there.
I hope Christmas isn’t too awful for you and I hope next year is better.
Janet
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