first time loss

first message on here, my uncle who essentially became my surrogate dad from the age of about 10 (I’m almost 22 now) and helped my mum raise me, passed away in may 2020, it was an ongoing situation since getting sepsis in the December 2019 after an accident to his foot, over the period of 6 months he was in and out of hospitals, a hospice and home, we were called on a total of 6 times to say goodbye and then he’d just get up the next morning, it was extremely hard, he was a lively, very loud and opinionated man with a big heart and personality and he just deteriorated into someone I no longer recognised, he eventually passed away at home which is what he wanted, for the past 2 years I’ve been in total denial of the whole situation not just his passing, everyday is becoming harder to ignore it, I’ve never lost anyone before (my grandparents died when I was young) and I had to deal with it during the pandemic as well, I’m just all around struggling with the situation. I decided to come on here to just let it out I suppose or if anyone else is in a similar situation. I apologise for the long story just trying to explain everything. Thanks

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Hello @Virgogirl20, thank you for bravely sharing how you’re feeling with us. I’m so sorry for the loss of your uncle; losing someone so important to you and especially during the pandemic when it was so much harder to say goodbye, it is completely understandable that you would be struggling.

Are you getting any support to cope with your grief? If you think it would be helpful to talk it through with someone, we offer free Online Bereavement Counselling. Our Grief Self Help platform may also be useful; it can help you to identify and work through some of the feelings you’re experiencing.

I’m sure someone will be along to offer their support, but I just wanted to say thank you for joining us and I hope you find the community to be a support.

Take care