I am about to make a really really hard journey today. I am going back for the first time ever to my sons apartment in Spain without Paul.
I am going with my 2 daughters for a short 3 day break as a precursor to a holiday we had booked with family in August. I know in my heart he would want this and he would definitely want the grandkids to have the holiday in August, but I am so nervous 
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Mezza, You can do it. Be kind to yourself, If it was you looking down on Paul, I sure you would be saying something like ,go for it, enjoy the few days with your daughters. I am sure that is what he is willing you to do.
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I know you are right Rob. Just will feel feels strange, him not being with me
Thank you
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Im sorry for your loss i too are going away September the 1st time without my partner and i dont know how im going to feel, just meeting up with family is hard as we were always there together. Go and enjoy your time with your family i dont think they would want us to not carry on just take little steps we can take them anywhere in our hearts x
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Having just got back from a week, alone, in Llanberis, you know you can do it as well.
Yes I cried at times, particularly yesterday, but it was good for me as it’s going to be good for you as well.
My bands singer lives in Souther Spain and he wants me to visit in October, along with two couples. Not sure I want to go though as the couples will remind me of Jackie.
Anyway, have a good break. xxx
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Thank you so much xx
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Well we did our trip back to Spain got back very late monday night. Was ok, had lots of tears, just didnt feel right at times, especially when going to certain places, but I know he was with us which was comforting. Going back with all the family in August, so hopefully it wont feel so raw, but I know he will be with us there again.
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I felt the same when I went to Snowdonia last week. At times it didn’t feel right at times, but was comforting.
At least you had your daughters with you. I was on my own, but to be honest I don’t think I would have liked to be with anyone else, especially any couples. Jackie was in my mind, which I preferred.
It’s going to be better for you in August. Cry a bit and enjoy your time with the family.
You look after yourself 
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Thanks you so much John. We had lunch on the 2nd day at a cafe by the sea that me and Paul often went to, there were 4 chairs and me and 2 daughters and I kept getting drawn into looking at the empty seat and I really felt he was there with us. Very sad but also really comforting.
You take care John and hope your house sale goes smoothly
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Thanks. All photos and the EPC done. Even logged on to their app.
I’m quite good with things, but Jackie did almost everything to do with houses, including arranging for moves and so on. It’s been a challenge to find out stuff like how old is the boiler, where are the boundaries and so on. Luckily she kept almost everything filed away in box files and a fire safe, so managed to answer 95% of the questions asked. Jackie would have answered the lot from memory.
So the house should be listed today or tomorrow.
Seems hot out there so wondering whether it’s ok for a bloke in his late 70s to go to the GP in shorts. 
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Definitely wear your shorts John. Paul lived in his shorts apart from when it was really cold in winter. 
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You haven’t seen my legs. 
I will do though and blame it on you if people faint in the medical centre. 
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aww I’m sure they’re not that bad
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You will manage it, Mezza. Terry and I used to spend every winter in Spain, until he became ill it’s what we did for twenty years. A year after he died I went back to Spain (the same town) with my daughters for a holiday and it was okay, quite good at the end. It was a bittersweet experience and it helped a little. I’m sure that you will find it quite soothing.
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Nothing wrong with your legs John 
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Thanks Mitzi, at least they work. At the moment, I don’t have knee pains like Jackie did.
mezza i meant. Sorry
Aww no worries John i keep getting the names of my kids and grandkids mixed up all the time, I have even called my son Paul a couple of times 
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Thankyou hopefully wont feel as raw next time I go, and I know for sure its what Paul would have wanted, in my case I couldn’t speak to him before he passed, but I know that he would have wanted our grandchildren to go back and have a lovely holiday.
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