Hi I feel I’m not. Coping with my husband death which has been five months my grief counsellor told me I am I feel I haven’t got used to him dying yet I hate talking to people about his death has I end up tearful and then sad thinking about him my mother said I should now be pulling myself out of it and telling myself you,be got to get on with it now even my friend said the same thing but I feel I’m not ready to pull myself out of it I feel so confused I have dark thoughts that I feel I want to be with him is this still normal at this stage
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Hello sandy paws. I am also 4 month into the loss of my husband after 44 yrs married . We had nothing retired and I was just thinkingnhow these were our holden years house paid for kids ok with own families . Had so many plans to grow old and be together supporting each other then wham dead out the blue no warning or issues. I actually feel worse now than in the first few weeks. Managed then on pure shock. I still struggle to accept he is gone. I am so low and alone so I get exactly how youfeel. Part of ourselves can’t still accept they have gone and never coming back and dont feel ready to even want to accept the reality ,but also part of me at least really wants to feel just a bit of normality and peace . Grief makes people think feel and act in very strange ways. People are never the same after such a loss. I have no advise or I would follow it myself. All I can say is take it one day at a time and think what would uour partner have liked you to do. I hope you one day can learn to live around the grief instead of it consuming as it does at the moment.
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I would say diffinately too early to feel you are moving on.
I am 7mths into my grief. And I realise there is no quick fix but I will say the dark thoughts are much less.
Be kind to yourself. You are normal, this is a normal response as unreal as it seems!
It isn’t a life we were expecting, wanted, it was thrown upon us, but it is what we will hopefully live a long side eventually.
Big hugs, be strong xxxxxxx
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