Hi all,
I keep getting flashbacks of my Grandad who passed away in hospital in May.
It happens at such random times, i get a memory of being with him at the hospital , having fits, unable to talk, trying to talk. Holding his hand and the sound of his breathing i will replay days and nights i had with him at the hospital.
I chose to see my Grandad at the morgue too and sometimes that image comes back in my mind. I just cant believe i saw my Grandad like that, im in so much disbelief.
It makes me soo upset and i’ll cry soo much. I just want good memories of him to come through but its like my brain is still processing what i went through in his final days.
My husband is supportive but when this happens, he assumes he’s done something wrong and asks what’s the matter. He doesnt really respond with much sometimes and i just want to talk about my grandad and have a cuddle but he just says, i know or theres not much i can say and try and change the subject.
You’ve taken a positive step reaching out here for support @Shazza1. It sounds really tough the flashbacks you’re experiencing. I’m hearing that the loss of your Grandad was really difficult and the last moments you had with him keep replaying in your mind. Having flashbacks like this is something many experience after they’ve lost someone close to them, you’re not alone
You mentioned that you want some good memories of him to come through, are there any you would like to share here with us?
I’m sorry to hear you’re not getting the support you need from your husband. It sounds like you’re really needing that time to talk about him. For some people having a memory jar with memories written on a piece of paper can be a nice way to remember your Grandad and process some of your grief. Perhaps this could be something you do together and pick out a memory to talk about?
Keep reaching out to us, we’re always here for you anytime you want to talk.
Shazza1, have you looked into counselling. Sue Ryder offer several counselling sessions, free. and it sounds like you would benefit from those sessions. They really helped me when all I wanted to do was keep talking about what had happened , over and over. Family and friends don’t really know what to say and with the best will in the world they can’t always help you or give you what you need . Having someone listen while you pour it all out can be really therapeutic and it did me so much good. There was a waiting list but I didn’t have to wait long , hope they can help you x
Hi @Shazza1, I am so sorry about your Grandad and seeing him in the morgue but have been awful. I was so close to my own one so know how upset you must feel. I suffered flashbacks after I lost my husband in February and my counsellor referred me to The Loss Foundation website as they have a bit about flashbacks on there in fact lots of other info too.
It made me realise I was not going out of my mind. They did go away after a few weeks and I can recommend the counselling as I think that helped too. My mum took cancer in sept and because of the similarities I did suffer then my again but I don’t think they ever go completely as you get triggers.
I hope this helps but all of us are here for you too.
Sending hugs
Shona x
i will replay days and nights i had with him at the hospital.