Is anyone else experiencing flashbacks?
If I try and think of my Stephen all I get is flashbacks to how he looked with the ventilator… the jump of his chest as it forced the air into him - the constant alarms (this was all on our FaceTime visits) or when he went onto the ventilator, how scared he was.
The watching the heart monitor slowly fall when he ventilator was turned down.
I can’t grab hold of a positive memory without unlocking the other ones. It feels cruel that I can’t even have the happy memories we created.
Yet another thing that’s been taken away.