I’m so sorry to read about your awful circumstances. I’m here too if you need a virtual hug or a chat. Sending love to you at this most difficult time xx
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Jan17, we can only do what we hope is our best at the time. I do have regrets, but I know I can’t go back-would I want that for my husband-and I have to tell myself I did what I could in the circumstances. I’ve learnt this, I’d go mad if I hadn’t.
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Derek 1966
Yes, I’ve come to accept that all these different feelings/emotions are all part of moving on, not forgetting but acknowledging what has happened & dealing with it. Not easy though, is it.
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After caring for my husband for several years, I found him after he passed away from cardiac arrest. For several months I kept having flashbacks of the moment I found him. It was hard to get past that moment and I worked it up in my mind were it was worse than reality (I won’t go into details). I worked with a therapist specializing in PTSD and it did help. Hugs.
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Hi @Emma16,
That’s really encouraging that you found therapy helpful. I have no doubt it would have been a huge relief to have achieved an improvement in your ability to deal with these terrible images. Well done!
Hugs and best wishes to you.
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Thx, I was able to get 6 therapy sessions from my spouse’s death benefit through my work from MetLife. It was in very small print at the bottom of the paperwork, easy to miss, but when I called they were immensely helpful.
oh How I empathise with this - 3 months is so short from first knowing to loss! Although in hindsight Tony was deteriorating for a little while it didnt strike us he would go so quickly and I’m not sure he did either until the awful breathing at the end! I do hope the images fade but am struggling at the momentx
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Hi there. So sorry you are getting flashbacks. My husband died of metastatic kidney cancer in just 6 weeks. He was so frightened, and in so much pain. It was 6 months ago, but I still can’t get past feeling so sorry for him and the way he died. I am lucky to have friends, family and neighbours who continue to be so kind and supportive. I go out every day and overfill my life to the extent that I am exhausted. But it’s the only way for me to cope with each day. I guess we all have to develop strategies to deal with this new life that has been forced upon us. Do hope you can find a way forward in time. It’s so hard isn’t it xx
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@Poppet2 I am so sorry that you lost your husband…I lost my husband suddenly and unexpectedly last Christmas. He was 53 years old. He died from a massive rear saddle pulmonary embolism and undiagnosed kidney cancer which was in both kidneys. He was working the day before. I got him to the doctor’s 3 weeks previously but too late. I feel guilty that I didn’t notice that he was ill and had lost weight. I’m glad that you are keeping busy and have got support. Like you I am also keeping busy to fill my time. Big hugs xx
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Hello everyone! Here is another question? sounds daft but am now scared that Tony may - how can I put it - recede in my mind! Having had no “sign or dream” from or about him he seems to have vanished!! Surely this too soon in grieving process for this to happen!? I think about him all the time but have to look at photos to get him back in my mind! Does anyone get this or am I being stupid?? xx
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Hi @Cynthonia,
No you are not being stupid.
To me, grief seems to insinuate into every aspect of your psyche. It really messes with your mind, memory, and notions of reality and more.
I suspect that you are just experiencing yet another aspect of grief that will very likely change.
It is very very tough.
Best wishes to you. x
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I am 10 mths on in this journey since my Jim passed and this is a very relevant and emotional question, for me, yes, he has receded in my mind. Without reality everything fades from our minds, it is the most devastating aspect for me of loss and grief. Yes I have memories but those and photo’s can never, ever replace their physical presence, their voice, their touch, their smell, their laughter. This is the sadness that is felt the strongest for me personally. I think if there is an afterlife where they live on and I meet them again, I can’t comprehend it only being in spirit. I yearn for the physical presence so much so even after death I feel the sadness will exist
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Thank you so much JerryH - puts it into perspective for me!
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