Bereavement fog, bla, cant concentrate or whatever you call it. But it is real and feels like going mad to me. Descends when think i am doing ok and back to square one again. Slow on the uptake and all too much. Revert back again. Put one foot in front of the other. Calm down you try and tell yourself. Make a cuppa; take a deep breath; walk round and look at the flowers or whatever your go to place is. Switch on tv maybe and watch something on Netflix. The Crown maybe when they are going through stuff. They have it too. Or Ricky Gervais about life after and remind yourself to feed the cat if you dont have a dog or go outside and let other peoples dogs come over like they sense it with their eyes and soppy behaviour. Cuddle the cat if you feed her first. Or she will never stop moaning and being a pest. Throw her outside. Then do the washing up left. How did I make such a mess? Tel rings. Not again. Is it a good call or endless cold calls scams? Control yourself. Hello. Door bell rings for someone else’s parcel. No thank you bad day. Shut the door. Feel bad. Go for a walk round the block. Back again. Look in fridge. Dont fancy any of it. Eat a banana it is easier. I suppose I had better cook some veg before they go bad. Defrost something to go with it. Something easy. Stick it in the air fryer. Guess it. Put the timer on. You are still in a fog. Have I managed to achieve that or has it burnt or gone wrong. And so on. Anyone else having a bad day? I say to my husband is not here: What shall I do? Just the distant voice in my head of him repeating you will be ok only not.
I think youre having a bad day … try stay calm … its really early for you you know. Be patient with yourself … its not easy any of this … its a constant navigation into an unknown life that we hoped we wouldn’t have to go through … but out of the ashes some sort of life will emerge … slowly . Take care xxx
My goodness that is a bad day. We all have some of those. Just know the chance of having another one of those is unlikely. Pity they haven’t put the timings on for air fryers yet. It is internet or guesswork. I have same problems but did bacon yesterday and it was delicious. Good luck and best wishes.
Enorac
You have described exactly how I have been feeling !
It is so difficult to concentrate at times and I just try to take each hour/ day at a time and have one thing to try to do each day .
Take care and we all have bad days and there will be better days ahead.
I read your message and to be honest Inspite of having a really bad day you actually did a lot I admire you Some people when they have a a really bad day just stay in bed Don’t be so hard on yourself These awful times are just a part of grief it’s such hard work being bereaved and living in your head No one knows what you are going through till it happens to them
Well I thought today is another day. Postman delivers two official letters. First great ÂŁ500 in bank from Govt for fuel. Second one saying Eon think I died. What?
I thought up to now they were better than gas provider.
Not so.
Who wants to waste time telling them?
Put me off my stroke.
Is somebody trying to tell me something?
No do not be silly.
Get over it.
Well son Tel me with good news. He chased up husband’s memorial bench safe but flag stones not ready.
I am meant to be making a decision what colour for headstone. What to write in it. Get it sorted. Stop dilly dallying.
Relax. Had your dinner I say. No haven’t gone to Aldi yet. Went in freezer instead plenty in there.
Given stuff to my sons as they struggling. The daff bulbs need planting what am I waiting for? The pansies need putting in pots.
Come on I say stop being slow.
Covid jab hasn’t kicked in yet maybe I will not get side effects. Maybe malaise is side effect. Anyone else like me?
Just do one job at a time … dont put too much pressure on yourself. I do the most important job first and the less important i leave until im ready . Hope that helps xx
Deb5
Thanks for permission not to try to do too much. I did send an email to the Eon to say it was a mistake and I had not died. Took ages. Received insurance quote which is more than other peoples so tried to get on comparison site. Did not work but will have to leave it. Decided to have time out and write my journal and read. Tomorrow will have to go to shop and get stuff ready for my son to look at on Thursday. 3 kids will be there so not easy. Hence need shopping.
Oh my goodness I thought it was just me. That is so insightful. I have just walked round Sainsburys totally unable to make a decision on what to buy. The vegetables are rotting in the fridge because I can’t be bothered to cook for one person.
@Littlewhitebird . This is totally normal . Our brains seem to shut down. I suppose it is to cope with the grief. We suffer self doubt over every decision however small. I was a very decisive person. Now i question every single thing I do even over deciding which ready meal to have from the freezer. I am gradually getting better. Have been told by someone today who would know that I am incredibly capable person. It doesn’t feel like it. I am gradually getting better and I am sure so will you. I would suggest frozen veg until then. Xx. Sandra
You are very sensible to know that and wish everyone did. My son gets it but still expects me not to be indecisive. I know what I would like but if only I could just wave a magic wand and it would be done without all these decisions along the way. Want a downstairs shower, a lovely dog friend to share, the house magically organised, the garden made private and another person to be there and not having to go on my own.