Just wondering if anyone else is struggling with food and eating. My husband and I were always big eaters, neither of us were overweight but we liked our food. When Brian was first diagnosed it was such a shock to us that for weeks I couldn’t keep anything down and ended up having to get anti sickness tablets from doctors, I ended up losing two stone. Since he has died I no longer can be bothered with food and my diet is terrible. I get home from work, worn out and cannot be bothered to cook for one person. So I exist now on crisps, pork pies, ice cream and any other junk food I have in cupboard. I know this is not good for me, but just don’t have the energy to even care. I like cooking but feel now that it’s just too much effort.
Bereavement it self is so hard to cope with and all these bolt on’s just make everything near on impossible.
My biggest challenge is cooking for one, shopping for one. By the time I have cooked a meal I don’t fancy it. I hate eating on my own, in front of the tv with a tray on my lap. The dining room never gets used as there doesn’t seem any point sitting there on my own.
Ready meals taste like the box they come in.
My husband liked a glass of wine, He used to comment how he would love me to share and enjoy a bottle of wine with him on the odd occasion but I wasn’t a drinker and would only have the odd glass every now and then ……. Now I sit there and drink far more then I ever did and would love to be enjoying this past time with hubby.
Oh the things I would do differently given the chance.
Dear Misty, yes I can relate to what you say. Pete was the chef in our house as he loved cooking especially after he retired and we always sat at the table. Now I tend to get ready meals as I find it an effort to peel potatoes, carrots etc. Then you sit on your own to eat and it’s miserable. In fact doing all the things you used to do for two and now one at times seems pretty pointless… Grieving is such a pain literally! Keep Strong.
My wife and I would always sit at the dining table when we ate, we would share some wine and all was good. Since February I have not sat at the table at all, its a large lonely space, the chair my wife sat at has not been moved since 1st February, the day she died, I was always keen on cooking my parents owned a hotel so was taught pretty well, I tried to get back into it but just do not have the heart to do it anymore, I now like most of us either have a ready meal or quick cook sat in front of the TV , only on a Monday do I have a nice nourishing meal as I go to my daughters on that evening. I have however noticed a marked increase on the amount of Wine I consume, again alone and isolated. its been 9 months now and I cant even perceive when I would be able to cook again. this constant isolation and sadness seems to be the NEW me, how life can be so cruel to the innocent yet allow others who hurt people to carry on living their lives. I also lost what was left of my faith when Kath passed.
It is interesting to me that you say lost faith, I was always deeply religious and felt that prayer was the answer to everything but now I don’t really care about anything anymore, I find no comfort in my religion anymore, and have not prayed since Brian died. Right up until the moment he died I was convinced there would be a miracle because he had been doing so well.
My husband was such a kind lovely man, he didn’t deserve to go through what he did. As for Christmas someone said to me the other day, I hope you are not going to sulk all over Christmas, I said it is called grieving actually.
to be honest I started loosing faith last year when we were told in October the cancer had gone to her brain, Strange really as we were told in September that it had shrunk!! Its unbelievable how some people are so insensitive!! Sulk!! where are they coming from, I would not wish this pain on anyone but sometimes I get frustrated and think they should try dealing with this loss for a week, maybe then they would truly understand. I do feel for you, its so near the festive time, I am sure you are dreading this the same as I am. take care ,