Forget and forgive, or the other way around

It’s taken me two years to realise something. I was married to Penny for 50 years, and overall we were very happy.
Towards the end, she behaved in a way which really hurt me, and we didn’t have chance to resolve it.
So I decided to forget it, and move on, and try to forgive it.

The problem with this is that I never really forgot it and the memory and hurt keeps coming back, and I had to keep re-forgiving the hurt, replaying it!

While I was out walking the dogs this morning, it suddenly dawned on me that it will be much better not to forget, but forgive it instead, and I will then forget it far more effectively.

Forgiving is much kinder to me, and is far easier to keep up permanently.

Wish me luck! It’s the last issue I have to resolve.


Very wise decision, hope it helps you to move on.

Thankyou, Penny, I’ve had a few troubled days, but feel a lot better, almost immediately! Like a dark cloud has gone!
Hopefully, I can sleep a lot better tonight, that will be a good test!

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Wonderful, hope you sleep well, a better nights sleep is a very good tonic. One little tip if you are struggling to sleep is to take an antihistamine tablet, they are not addictive, they cause drowsiness and can help stop that early morning wakening. You need the one with cetirizine in. You can buy them at supermarkets. I take one occasionally when the sleepless nights have been too numerous…i think your brain goes in to overdrive and gets stuck sometimes. They can make you a bit groggy the next morning so don’t drive if you feel that way,

Thanks, I’ll try that tomorrow. Not sleeping is a habit I’d love to lose.

Oh, the lack of sleep! I average 3-4 hours a night and I’m like a walking zombie. Sometimes I take Nytol or Kalms. Or I take Zapain which is a prescription painkiller but makes me sleep, too.

@tykey I’m sad to learn that you’ve been going through this turmoil. Your posts are normally so upbeat and you give all of us a lot of encouragement and support. Hopefully we can provide the same for you. Take care.

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I’m already feeling much better, @SadGirlfriend , Thankyou. It’s just how life is, we can’t avoid a few downs. Just a temporary blip!
I cheered myself up by going and buying a keyboard, so that I can learn to play it, along with my flute (but not at the same time😃)


I slept much more quietly last night, and continued to feel much better all day. I was at our choir rehearsal today, and we belted out “A million dreams”. I had never sung so well, and it was a tremendous thrill😊.

It goes to show it’s important to address these little emotional blips, and resolve them and then they can never become big issues!

Thanks everybody for listening and helping​:+1::heart:


Just wanted to let you know that calmness and relative happiness have now returned to my life.
I’m no longer churning my negative thoughts around and around and beating myself up.

This morning, I remembered something. I’m probably the least religious person you’ll find, but I remembered the thousand times we recited the Lords Prayer in school, particularly the bit about “forgive us our trespasses, as we forgive them that trespass against us”. I always wondered what that was about, now I know!!

Onwards and upwards.

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Good luck and very wise. Forgive but don’t forget because that is how we learn from life.