I made contact with my brother in law first time in months.
I decided that none of us know how we’d react to looseing a husband or in his, case a, wife, my sister.
I was just so angry at the world at him at god at everything. But he was, suffering to and he turned to spending money to fill the void, I turned to eating.
I realised I couldn’t start to move on to accept her death at 50 from a brain tumour unless I let go of my anger towards him.
I feel better.
Thankyou everyone whoes offered support these past 10 months.
It’s really great to hear you’re feeling better after reaching out to your brother in law. It sounds like it’s been really helpful having time to think through everything and what might help you process the loss of your sister. How do you feel the conversation went with him?
Keep us updated with how everything is going, we’re here for you always
It went well. I explained I’d no idea what he’d gone through looseing his wife I only knew the devestation I felt at looseing my sister. We’d all gone through hell. If I said or did anything to upset him I’m sorry.
We went from there…
He said thankyou for saying that and I said it needed to be said.
I can now start to move further along in my greif. I wish I’d done it sooner. What use was the anger it altered nothing, it just made me hurt more.
Well done Paula. Anger is a normal part of grief, but it is important we do not become mired in it, as it can lead to bitterness. Your experience is inspiring. You did something for your own healing process, but also for your BIL. We all grieve differently, no right or wrong. It would make this grief journey a bit easier, if more people would remember that. Take care. Xxx
