As we all share something in common (often not understood by those who haven’t experienced the loss of a partner/spouse), I am curious as to whether any posters, over time, have formed good friendships with others from this forum ‘in real life’ and not just online. Friendship may involve sharing telephone calls, or meeting for a * (insert beverage of choice) if close by, etc.
I can’t help but think a friendship originating from this forum would be really supportive and beneficial for both parties, especially if family/close friends are not living close by.
I believe that face to face conversations / phone calls may sometimes be more beneficial than typing on a forum (I understand perhaps not always, and that many prefer online interaction, but I believe there is room for both).
What do others think? No need to go into specifics if you prefer, as privacy is respected.
@OnlyMe2
I agree with your sentiment.
Have you come across: About – Way Up
It seems more designed to push real life events and contacts, formally, than this forum is (tho I’m sure I’ve read instances of people getting together from here too). But as a forum/website the look and feel of WayUp is no where near as good as this one. But I am wondering if I may graduate to that one eventually when I feel ready.
@Sarie Thanks for the information. I haven’t heard of About-Way up before. That said, I had no idea any of these forums existed, well, I suppose I had no need to in my life before the 8 Oct.
I will take a look. As I said, for me personally I get much more out of telecons and conversations, in addition to online.
I think a lot of people make friendships on this forum. I think you tend to bind with others who lost their partners around the same time and share similar outlooks.
I joined back in Feb 23 after the sudden and unexpected loss of my partner. Through this site i have some very strong friendships and a supportive network.
As a group we initially shared zoom calls and that has progressed to face to face meet ups in a central location to us all.
I don’t think you can travel this journey with out the understanding of others who have been through it and just get it.
I also know people who use WAY and have had very positive outcomes.
That sounds like a good idea. Although I like the anonymity if I’m feeling vulnerable. I’ve tried other sites but while they specified friendship it was more about dating and relationships that I’m not ready for. I have good friends mostly divorced who don’t get why I still feel as I do.
I’d like to start a bereavement cafe locally when I retire. Coffee once a week for chat and then see where it goes. Support each other.
@Ali29 Thanks Ali, and apologies for the late reply. Reassuring the read the forum has been a positive experience for you.
Agree about similar outlooks, let’s face it, it is only those who have the same experience that truly ‘get it’.
I will take a look over on About Way site.
I lost my husband 11 weeks ago and think it’s all about the tiny steps and goals.
As days turn into weeks and so on, it’s nice for people to feel comfortable to take on that next goal. If the time comes that friends meet face to face then that’s nice and they should be pleased with themselves that they are able to do that. Well done them.
@Beacon Sorry to read about your loss Beacon, unfortunately is why we are drawn to this community.
Agree about tiny steps and goals. I personally feel comfortable meeting people ‘in real life’, I think I benefit more from that, and hope my experiences can also help those I meet. That said, I also benefit from online, so a combination of both will hopefully work for me.
I hope you are able to move forward at your own pace, in time.
Totally agree. I’m normally a people person & I’ve struggled slightly with expressing thoughts & feelings online.
I’m sure in time I will meet/communicate out in the real world.
@Beacon Yes, it can be difficult, especially where (for me) privacy is concerned and getting that balance right between expressing thoughts and not giving ‘too’ much personal information away (given this is searchable on google).
Something else for those of you wanting real life in person meet ups would be to look and see if there is a Sue Ryder Grief Kind group near you.
I braved up (very unlike me) and went to one for the first time today. There was one other new person, and the others had been going a while and had obviously got to know each other and their stories. Everyone was very friendly. But I’m not sure if I’ll go back yet. Everyone was retired and had families locally.
OnlyMe2 I have joined Jolly Dollies and Way Up and have made friends with other widows, we go out for lunch, chat on the phone, go for walks or to the cinema etc some even go on holidays together, we have a laugh and we all understand each others problems because we are all in the same boat.
The groups I have mentioned are easy to find online. There is also a FB group called Merry Widows and a lot more groups out there. Some are just for women but some are mixed groups. They are not dating sites.
I have had to go back to work, finances are tricky now. I am doing a few hours cleaning to keep the wolf from the door but I am not enjoying it. Like you I would give up in the blink of an eye but was not left financially secure and still have a mortgage to pay. Next year I will become a pensioner but have no private pensions so even then I will have to carry on working…not a pleasant thought. I will never get off this dreadful hamster wheel they call working. ! Especially with this wonderful and helpful government !!!
I have put my home town, if you were to arrange to meet someone then you would do in it a safe way, you are not going to give your address out initially. I don’t think it is anymore risky than any other group but as always caution should be used.
There are groups where you can meet other widows.
Jolly Dollies, Way Up, Merry Widows. I have made friends by joining Jolly Dollies and Way Up and we go out for lunch, walks, to the cinema, chat on the phone, some go on holidays together. It works because we all understand each other.