I know it is isnt it ! This is the sort of NHS we have now ! His consultant told him in September … nothing sinister ! Ha ! Then they used a camera and found it but it was too late the oncologist said ! Im so fuming with that bloody NHS for taking my husband !!! Everything was too slow !!! X
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But we didnt do anything wrong @Hazel.1966 because we didnt do 6 years medical training did we !!! Its up to the drs to spot these things not us !!! They get paid for it ! We dont !!! Xxx
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Just so very sad debs. Yes our NHS has definitely gone down the pan. Unfortunately my husband was just too late going to the doctor’s as the blood clot got him first or he might of been here having treatment but will never know 
Xx
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And the thing that gets me hazel is they.were relatively young men ! If they cant find it with them how the hell do older people stand a chance ! X
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Yes totally agree with you debs…I hope you have made a complaint xx
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Yeh same 
xx
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Now we got to live without our lovely men who has been robbed of their lives and our future plans and dreams Xx
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We did ! Dont worry they had to do an investigation and we took it to our local MP who is a conservative … guess what they building a new hospital now … !! Too late for hubby though isnt it and we are just left bereft ! I go up and down like a yo yo do you ? One hour im ok - next im in tears ! X
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Anyway - how has your mother been @Hazel.1966 ? Will she talk about your husband yet ? Only reason i ask is cos my mother being a weirdo now … she was ok for a bit but i think she has attachment issues … she can only get involved on a certain level … she is weird ! I know shes 83 but … counsellor i went to see last week said that our culture are really bad at dealing with grief ! Very true ! They verge in the ridiculous if you ask me !!!
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@Deb5 hi Deb’s so sorry for the late reply. I have been out all day attending the support group, working and going to my friend for dinner. Trying to keep busy as my son is in Ibiza. Yes one hour I’m ok then next I am crying my eyes out. Today I have been quite numb and the pain is deeper and different from the beginning. My mum still tries to avoid talking about my husband though I do keep mentioning him. She is also 83. Strange aren’t they. My mum loved my husband as well and always tried to flirt with him in a nice way. I don’t know why she is like that and some friends I am disappointed with also. Like I am a leper. Big hugs xx
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Yeh no worries … dont blame her ! My mum is 83 too and she acts a bit strange too … one minute she is alright about it then she goes all weird … as if i cant talk about my husband ! Well i will if i want ! Had a rough day today … just miss him anyway my cousin invited me to hers to stay over tomorrow so that should be good - cheered me up a bit ! Hard atent thry these summer days when you feel far from cheery ! Xx
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Sure is as the summer days remind me of what my husband and myself would be doing. Also the sun doesn’t match my mood. 
I glad that you are like me and don’t mask how you feel with your mum. My dad is still alive and still married to my mum and he speaks about his son in law all the time and says he misses him. I’m sorry that you have had a rough day…it is so hard and shit 
hope your visit to your cousin goes ok my lovely xx
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Thanks hazel 
exactly ibyhink the summer makes youvfeel wkrse cos you eould be planning stuff - holidays or renovations ! Now we cant do any of that can we ? I keep thinking back to this time last year when we went for a meal for my birthday ! I had no idea that the following year he wouldn’t be here So tough it is ! I just feel more isolated somehow - but be good to get out !! my middle daughter is being kind still - she said fathers day gonna be hard without her dad ! Same with your son i guess ? x
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Yes father day is going to be hard as also 6 months to the day that John went . My son is back on Saturday so going to see what he wants to do though most probably will be getting over his holiday. We light a candle every weekend. I can’t believe 6 months ago it was a normal day and never thought I would be in this horrendous journey. Just miss him so much and feel so lonely without him. Are you and your daughter doing anything on Sunday? Xx
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My husband passed on the 16th - 6 months ago 2 days before your husband … its my birthday on the 18th june - same day as fathers day this year ! Guess thats sort of significant in a way … she wants to go to scarborough where we took her dad for his last holiday but i not been invited … shes going with her husband and my granddaughter … maybe she wants to be alone with her thoughts … she adored her dad but she said tonight that if she goes early she be back early so i can go over cos i have no plans ! My own father has been useless so dont wanna see him particularly - he said to me week after funeral : hes gone now ! Ha ! Oh that’s alright then i will just forget i been married for 35 years then shall i ! Hes so tactless … !! xx
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How insensitive of your father to say that. Especially as your life has fallen apart. This weekend is going to be so hard for you with father day and your birthday. I didn’t do anything on my birthday… just blank it. My husband would of spoilt me… that was hard. Also like you Christmas is never going to be the same again. Another bloody hot day hope your day goes well with your cousin Xx
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Btw … i didnt do anything on my birthday ! Just made a nice tea for myself ! I did just blank it ! Crap without them here anyway ! xxx
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