I lost my mum in February and have had several passings over the last 3 years. My mum’s passing has cut really deep as my husband and I lived with my mum.
There have often been days when I have not text this so called friend as I have been at my lowest. Whereas we used to text everyday. I find that she now often does not text and my husband had a serious operation and she did not call ahead.
I have been really upset by her actions and I wonder what others think I should do about this friendship. It feels to me like I should say bye to her.
Sorry your friend seems thoughtless. Most of my so called friends have disappeared since my husband died. Well sod em i can do with out people like that lifes stressful enough without having to worry about them. If your friend can’t be more supportive then she’s not the friend you thought she was. Tell her to do one. Xx. Hope hubby is ok
Very difficult when we are going through grief. Some friends, I really think don’t know what to do for the best. It’s hard on us, but hard on them, because sometimes they want to help, but then they feel that they may say ‘the wrong thing’. Such a difficult time. Maybe you can text her, and give her the opportunity to text back. If she doesn’t respond, then basically I would say ‘bye’. I guess you are the one who knows best the kind of relationship you have/had! with her. Keep your strength up. xxx
I had the same thing with my sister and someone i thought the world of .my sister wendy said some horrible things about my gorgeous beautiful wife sue .also the lady who was above me the motorcycle group i was president of sais she was sick of seeing how much i grieving and sue was gone and get over it.they both are no longer people i consider friends and family. They no longer exist to me or my daughter stepson dave and my wife’s family who are my family now
when people distance themselves, you do same. confrontation makes people defensive. this is common. distance yourself and you will also protect yourself at the same time.
Shelly2. I have the same problem, my so called best friend was fantastic at the start of this hell journey, however all I get from her is her moaning about her health…she is a hypochondriac. She never asks how I am, how the inquest went, anything. I have pulled myself away from her, see her once a week for a walk, when we used to walk all the time together. I can’t deal with her negativity as it bounces on to me. I saw her last Wednesday for a walk in the morning, over an hour of her moaning, come the afternoon I felt at rock bottom… I sat and reflected on why I was like it and I put it down to her. Even her text messages are draining. I think for me at the moment it’s the end of our friendship. Not sure if this helps you or makes it worse for you.
Hello, I believe we contacted each other before. Apologies I have not been on here for ages. How are you doing?
I remember you telling me about your friend. She sounds just like my so called friend. I am so pleased you have managed to distance yourself and only see her once a week. We can do without so called friends like these. I know what you mean about feeling rock bottom after spending time with them. Especially when they are talking about such trival stuff!
My husband had an operation last Friday and she did not even contact me on the day to wish him well! I think it is hard as I think you would probably be the same if my friend had just lost a loved one, I would be in regular contact to see how they are and I would not trouble them with my trival stuff!
Thank you for your response and it is lovely to hear from you again. I will try and come on hear more often.
@Shelly2 They do say, there’s nothing like a crisis for you to discover who your friends are. A bereavement makes you really reevaluate who you can count on. @Misprint is right, if she can’t b more supportive, maybe it’s time to call time on that friendship. Also a sure indicator of a relationship beyond repair is if you find yourself always initiating the texts.
Have to say my friends are amazing it’s been 9 months yes they all have they busy lives but have not forgotten me I’m so very lucky to have fantastic friends as they say they can’t stop the downpour but walk with me through the rain , feel for you all you are so right you certainly do find out who you friends are take care all
