Hi Jen, Good grief what a worry for you. What is the matter with your family, you should have been told what was happening with your Mum. Hope your Mum is O.K. and getting on alright and if I was you I would let the family know that your not too happy with being left out all the time. Let them know that leaving you worrying is something you can do without at this moment in time. I suppose there is a chance that they didn’t want to worry you but ignoring you just causes more distress for you.
Hope all is well now. Pat xxx
Been to see my mum tonight not long back, she’s in HDU, she’s had a hip replacement op, today she reacted badly to the pain relief medication and was severely dehydrated. Because of her reaction they’re having to rethink her pain management. She’s very confused and in extreme pain, which we’ve all been told will only reduce slightly because she’s been in chronic pain for over 4 years. My mum said she didn’t want to tell me she was going in because I’ve enough to worry about.
Whilst i was there, one of my brothers called one of my sisters, she have her mobile to my mum and she thought it was Alan talking to her, my brother is also called Alan, but she got mixed up, then became upset because she’d upset me a little, one of my sisters jumped in to tell me mum it was ok, and didn’t matter, I got annoyed about that, she jumped in before I could tell my mum that it was ok, even though I started to well up.
Anyway, we’ve to wait now to see how she progresses overnight. They have my number so at least I’ll get to know what is happening
Jen☆
Hi Jen, I do hope your mum is on the mend, it was early days yesterday… It looks as if your family is trying to protect you from more stress, when in fact being left out could cause you more. Don’t know why but it seems that while we are at our most vulnerable we are expected to take on yet more problems. My daughter is having problems but lives in Spain and I have had to send her money to help her out. I wonder if we are being tested but for what reason.
Take care Pat xxx
I’m so glad to have read this thread as it has calmed my anxiety over the fact that my friends have get togethers on facebook and haven’t asked me to join them. The calls have stopped from some friends. I now have problems with my 96 year old father who told me yesterday he didn’t like my late husband as he was “miserable” and I was black like my late mother who liked black furniture and black curtains! I’ve tried very hard to be brave and cope with the loneliness and sadness, but now it is coming up to a year since he died and the memories of our last month together have come to the fore. I’ve never suffered with this sort of pervasive anxiety before, it is debilitating. I’m so glad to hear it’s normal. I am slowly accepting that these people who ignore my messages about meeting up are just getting on with their lives and don’t want me anymore. It hurts.
Hello there. I have given up and have decided to make no further contact with my husbands family. If they want to see me they can make that move. I’ve tried but found it upsetting to be ignored. Even well meaning friends say they will ring me but never do. I don’t know whether to call them because I don’t want to put them on the spot or seem needy. So I get on with my own life with my lovely dogs rather than get upset. I think there should be clubs in every town for bereaved people who can relate to each other’s pain and give support. Thank goodness for forums like this one. Take care.
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