Must admit haven’t had any like that. In fact only had about 4. Haven’t seen anyone we knew in 7 months. Got to the stage where i really don’t care anymore. More things to worry about than that lot. Realised you’ve got to look after yourself. Ive certainly found out what so called friends are. Take care.
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I would definitely say that my wife’s illness and her passing has revealed the true meaning of friendship and family!
My sister and 2 daughters, my nephew and his family and some truly wonderful friends have been there for us both
Of all people who have disappointed me the most is my uncle,
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@Jay15
I couldn’t agree more and I’m just keeping distance from some pretentious family members that i really can’t be bothered with anymore.
Some of our real friends have been superb and my sister, my nephew and and my daughters are the there as always. They have been very supportive
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I phoned a so call friend today and i was saying how some people just haven’t bothered. I wasn’t nasty but hint3d hiw she couldn’t be bothered. She went deadly silent snd went on to say her husband had a cold. Laughable. I think she’d had enough of me snd said got to go someone’s at the door. I knew thst was a lie because i can always here the doorbell ring. I just said goodbye and hung up. Probably won’t see her again. No loss to me. Another actually rang me yesterday who i haven’t heard from in 7 months. Said couldni go round today as she’d got nothing to do. I just said i was busy. All i can say this year i have changed so much but don’t know if it’s for the better. Hope you and your dad are both keeping well. Take care. X
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@Jay15
Times like this make you see however also we need to be mindful that we all lose track of each other sometimes !
Some I have decided to lose contact with such as my uncle ……. Sad but necessary
On the friends side I recognise that we have not reached out either so friendship is 2 ways
My friend has been dealing with an unfaithful cheating wife and a difficult divorce plus a mother who’s doubly incontinent and has advanced dementia. Another married couple have lost three parents between them in 18 months and another had lost her father whilst Elissa was ill.
Just saying
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Hi there,
I think you are right and some do not want to know.
I believe at times of loss you really find out who your true friends and family are. It is really surprising how people behave at these heart breaking times. I now feel the people who treat us so poorly are not even worth talking about.
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I must agree. I’ve found out the hard way. The only person to get in touch with me to see how i was was a colleague of my husband. This person himself is suffering from cancer and had a stroke. Says it all doesn’t it. Ive been phoning my so called friend for the last 7 months. She has never gone through any trauma whatsoever. She has never called me and yesterday when i called her she said she was worried as her husband had a cold. Anyway I’d had enough and started telling hernhow some people are so selfish. I think she took the hint and said got to go someone’s at the door. What a joke. Well probably won’t hear from her again and she’s not worth getting my bp up . I’m at the opinion that sort aren’t worth bothering with.
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I’ve started to find that people I’m now making friends with - both widows/widowers and non-bereaved, are becoming better friends than most of the friends I had before. There are only really a couple from before widowerhood that keep in touch. If I bump into any of those that dont, or feel they cant , I treat them just the same as I would have previously and in a lot of cases they reiterate their sorrow and apologise for not being in touch, to which I just say, that’s ok dont worry about it, because I dont feel its worth getting upset over, as I’ve got more than enough to be upset about already.
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You’re right. It’s not worth worrying or in my case annoyed about it. As you say we’ve all got real things to bother about and look after ourselves. Take care.
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Interesting that the friends who have been there are those who have had problems and/ or bereavement of their own.
My own uncle was the one that was the biggest shock and disappointment to me and henceforth no longer one I care about, I love my cousin (his daughter) and don’t want to cause a rift between her and her dad but I won’t be visiting him anymore
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@Jay15
I agree - just let these so-called friends slither away under a rock ! The ones who are worthy will be at your side and in your life
The same is true for some family members!
Zero fux given for most of them
I know which friends and family are in my corner, my beautiful daughters and my sister and nephew (and family) plus a few others. They know I would be there for them too
I agree with you but it’s a shame that we have to go through this awful time to realise who is really there for you. Must admit it’s the ones i didn’t expect to be there. My neighbours next door who unfortunately have now left were brilliant. They came over here from another country and the nicest people. I have my lovely niece in Australia (husband’s sister’s daughter). She left to get away from her mother. (Long story) and my son who has been fantastic. Good to hear you have nice people around you. Take care
I agree it’s sad, but as I cut some friends / family loose I also feel closer to the ones that remain as I value them more than ever. Those that I have cut loose were no great loss, one in particular I can read like a book and her horrid greedy behaviour will be her own karma.
I laid my beloved wive to rest on Monday and we gave her a send off fit for the queen she was.
Now I feel that I have closed the second and most difficult chapter in the book.
I miss her terribly but I am surrounded by her presence in my heart my soul and my home. I know that she would not rest in eternal peace if I were in perpetual torment and turmoil with my grief and that is how I reconcile and find some inner peace.
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Yes that’s true my husband would have hated seeing me the way i am at the moment but i do talk to him every day and when i start to get nervous about anything i ask him to help me out which gives me an inner strength hoping he’s there. Take care
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@Jay15
My youngest daughter has been brilliant sorting the house for me - I have lots of photos of her in her prime as I try to remember her.
My eldest daughter is also very good and often calls me on FaceTime to chat which I love especially when the grandchildren are there too, going to Canada in March to see her
And yes I talk to her. Especially today
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Jay, I have looked at clairvoyance and the afterlife,
Your husband walks in spirit form with you everyday, if you go to a proper medium they will be able to confirm this for you, i was too soon, I went to a medium just 4 weeks and 2 days after my mother passed, the name coming through very strongly was frank, my fathers name who passed some 14 years earlier, but my mother was there non the less!
My Niece who was in before me connected with her father who had passed some 18 months earlier.( my twin brother, and I had a paranormal experience with him the night after he passed, along with a close friend 50 miles away the same night)
You should try it
Tim
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