It will be a year in March since my Mother grew her angel wings and I’ve been up and down all the time.
Today is one of those days where I’m having a down day.
I don’t know whether to feel angry or upset that none of my so called friends seem to bother with me anymore. Hardly any of them checked in on me in the early days when I was at the lowest point of my life.
I have since started trying to reach out to them because the truth is I feel so lonely, but when ever I try and organise something with them it’s like they don’t want to know me by making excuses all the time.
Most of the time when they’ve turned my offers down they’ve ended up doing things with their other friends and with me having a hairdressing qualification they’ve had the utter cheek to ask if I can do their hair for their nights out. I mean what is that all about? It’s such an insult!
I do live with my partner and he’s been nothing but amazing but I’m missing female company.
At least if my Mum was still here I’d have had her to talk to but sadly she isn’t and I feel so lost and miserable all the time. I really hate this!
In my experience, it’s always best to make new friends. The old ones may come around, but in the meantime you’ve made a whole load of new ones, making you less dependent on any of the flakey ones.
Hi @Jess1 I get how you feel, and that’s tough. Your friends should really be there for you. Have you tried bluntly telling them how you feel?
My friends were great at the start when my mum passed away in September, but then fizzled out soon after when it came to checking in with me. 4 months probably seems like a long time to them and they don’t bother thinking about it anymore, but it’s nothing to me, and feels like I only just lost my mum yesterday. Maybe that’s how your friends feel, as if you should be getting on with things now so don’t think to check on you? If they’ve not been through the loss of a parent, then they won’t know how horrific it is, how lonely and upset you feel every single day, and how that feeling doesn’t just go away after a few weeks. Maybe be honest about that and see how they react? If they still don’t bother to see you, then it may be worth trying to make new friends who understand.
I also know what you mean about missing female company. I have my husband too who is great, but I’m missing my mum more than anything. Her support, love, friendship, and just talking to her every day. Its so heartbreaking being without them
They didn’t really say much to me in the early days to be honest.
In fact the people that reached out to me were people I didn’t think would, they were more like acquaintances such as colleagues, you know people I was friends with but wouldn’t really hang out with if that makes sense.
I still have my Gran which I’m really close to and I’m absolutely terrified of losing her as she’s the only person in the family that understands me, just that it would be nice to have friends to go out with to take my mind of things for a bit that’s all.
@Jess1 I hate to say it but tbh they don’t much sound like good friends anyway. If they only want you to do stuff for them & friendship is one way traffic, it’s time to ditch them. You said it yourself that people you weren’t expecting reached out but your so called friends didn’t. Sorry you’re going thru it. I had a bff many years ago, we always did stuff together but when I needed her (brother was diagnosed with CML) she was indifferent, even though I’d been there for her. The whole thing made me reassess our friendship & I cut ties with her. It sometimes takes something major to highlight who’s not a friend at all. Take care of yourself. Xx
