My dad died in January and I feel so alone.
I have a brother but we are not super close and he is grieving very privately and very differently to me so I really can’t talk to him about anything.
I’m 22 and I was super close to my dad and his death is affecting me massively. None of my friends have lost parents and lots of them have never dealt with any major losses so nobody really understands what I’m going through and why I’ve changed.
I’ve become much quieter and I never want to go out and so I’m not seeing my friends as much.
They all treat me as if nothing happened and my entire world hasn’t changed or, if I show emotion I just get sympathetic looks - both equally annoy me.
It’s been so hard losing my person who I would call to talk about anything. And although I love my friends lots, I don’t feel as though they are being supportive and I feel so alone and I just want my dad and my life back
Thank you for reaching out. I’m so sorry to hear about your dad. You’re right - it can be especially lonely experiencing such a huge loss so young, when your friends can’t relate to it. You’re not alone. I’m not sure if you’ve seen our Loss as a young adult category yet. But there you can connect with other members who experienced the loss of their mum or dad and who will understand some of what you’re going through.
You might also want to check out Let’s Talk About Loss. They run peer-led groups for 18 - 35 year olds, where you can meet others who understand. You can find your local group on their website:
Please do know you’ve been heard and keep reaching out.
Hiya, sending you a big hug. i’m 30 (so a wee bit older) and lost my mam last year. Like you, almost none of my friends and colleagues have lost a parent, so it’s been pretty lonely. a lot of the grief literature and support seems to be aimed at older folk too.
i’ve sort of given up talking to friends who don’t get it - while i appreciate them listening, i just dont find it helpful. i’ve tried to communicate how i’m doing though, i do broadcast whatsapps like “Just wanted to update everyone - i’m still not sure how i am feeling but asking big questions like ‘how are you’ aren’t helpful atm. i’m not sure what is helpful and am trying to work that out, but atm i could do with some company binge watching bridgerton. thanks for people my people.” if its any consolation, im 2 months into grief and am only just about seeing friends again.
older colleagues have been a little easier to talk to. i’ve told my boyfriend as great as he is, he just won’t and can’t underestand what it’s like to lose that part of your soul. however, im finding my therapist to be of most help - have you tried counselling or something similar? that way i still have a ‘vent’ for how i’m feeling but its just not a friend group.
I also found comfort through podcasts - everyone recommends GriefCast (which is good) but I have also found “Too Young to Grieve” on Spotify - the guy who hosts it lost his dad at uni. This forum and randomly Grief Support on reddit have been good too.
finally, Cariad Lloyd once described grief as “Venn diagrams” where you find people who have overlapping experiences with you, and the more overlaps, the more comfort there is. I found this concept useful for understanding and describing my loneliness.
PS sorry i know you didnt ask for advice but couldn’t help myself. but i hear you and i totally feel the same way x