I too don’t want to meet anyone @53 . Bry was my soulmate & that aside I’m never going through this pain again 
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Yes if I was 20 or ten years younger I would feel more empowered than I do.
But I say to myself then I would have been alone longer maybe and wouldn’t have wanted less of good times I had. Reading how some people say was all good wonder if they never had tough times. I did and we did. Don’t hear much about that .
But must be people out there who did.
I mean while their loved one was alive
I don’t miss when we were not getting along but regret how that happened in between.
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Hi @Enorac . Did I have tough times? YES!!
Cancer, nasty tumour in my skull,heart attack, ptsd, relationship issues. I very rarely meet anyone who has gone through their lives without challenges.
I think getting through these challenges has made me stronger to get through the biggest challenge of all, grief. When I add the bad times up, maybe 5 years were spoilt , the other 45 years were magic.
I often recall that Kelly Clarkson song, “What doesnt kill you makes you stronger”.
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@Enorac
No relationship or person is perfect, I do think in death when we talk about our loved one’s we put them on a pedestal, idolization, but what matters at the end of the day is the love we gave and received. We leave this earth with only love
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Perfectly put, @Sarlyn . The other day,I had a nice, long, honest talk to one of my best. empathetic friends about the issues we had. She just sat and listened, and it was amazing that at the end of it, the issues werent anywhere near as important as they seemed when I was alone with the same thoughts.
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I feel exactly the same - I now feel sad if I haven’t bern thinking about him! It’s almost as if I need the grief to keep him with me .
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That’s right @PollyjaneW, but it’s just a feeling. Even during moments of joy, when we may manage a smile, there is always that underlying sadness of missing our soulmates, as if we are not a “whole person”, experiencing that joy, half of us has gone with them.
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Yeh cos youre so used to sharing your joy/sadness with them and its so hard to not share precious moments with them 
thats what i find anyway xx
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I write to my husband in the notes section on my phone. Crazy but I just pretend
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It’s not crazy , I do exactly the same . Also did it with my dad ( never put dates on though )
I do put dates on now though , it helps me when I write to him 
xx
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No its not crazy.! Counsellors advise you to write to them. Ive got a little journal xx
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Well makes me feel better I am doing something helpful if anyone should think otherwise not that it matters what people think really but so used to being told I am quirky and having to stand up for myself line being told could not take a photo of my husband’s coffin by undertakers and daughter in law. I need photos. I said we are all different so there but still could not get my photo.
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Did you not get a photo ? My daughter in law took a photo although i dont think it was appropriate really although we were able to see the beautiful flowers … funeral director never said anything - he was a nice man though - really lucky to get him x
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My funeral director took a photo for me of the flowers in the coffin leaving the chapel of rest. She was brilliant and so understanding and kind as I’m one of those who needs photos to look back on life’s key moments xx
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You are lucky and I agree it is important to have photos.
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