Hi Everybody I have had several chats online with the forum after the loss of my only child my son in March and being a widow.I have found reading other people’s experiences both sad interesting and helpful.
I am posting today as I wonder what people feel about something that suddenly makes me feel very frightened.
The loss I feel is overwhelming and I do feel so sad and lost.Suddenly I feel frightened about getting old and feeling unwell without them here by my side.I am 72 in general good health have good friends and wonderful siblings.My stomach turns obviously having to face rest of my life without the two most important people in my life.Am I being silly and selfish but frightened is the only word I can use to describe this extra feeling I am going through.
Love Marg
No you are not being silly or selfish Your fears are valid and shared by many including me of our generation. I am so sorry for your loss and no words can take the pain you feel away… Please keep posting on here Take care xx
Thank you Shirleymc your words mean alot xx
Frightened is word. I have felt frightened since I lost my lovely mum and dad. Where I used to laugh my way through life I now feel anxiety and terrible fear in the pit of my stomach all the time. I felt safe when they were here and now they’re gone I am terrified. Of illness. Death. Loneliness. The future. It’s awful. I am a different person now and I don’t like her.
I try to keep busy but this awful fear won’t leave me. Just wanted to say you are not alone in feeling this. I have this too and I’m sure many people who grieve do. This forum is great for support. Take care x
Thank you so much Pen yes your words they do mirror how I feel.Take care love Marg xxx
Hello Marg1
I am so sorry for the loss of your beloved son this year. He was obviously a great comfort and tower of strength to you after losing your husband 11 years ago. You are not being silly or selfish as I can totally understand why you would feel frightened as I feel exactly the same after the death of my husband 9 months ago. I nearly had a fall yesterday and I ended up crying even though I didn’t hurt myself. It really shook me up as it just brought it home how vulnerable I am now with no one at home to look after me should something like that happen or worse. Take care.X
Thank you for your kind words and please you too look after yourself.Its so very hard.
Sending you lots of hugs xxxx
Pen that is exactly how I feel frightened all the time, unhappy and the anxiety never leave me. I can’t remember a good day and I won’t allow myself to have one 
Hi Paula. Me too. I think people don’t admit to it freely yet we all (mostly) feel frightened.
Good to see you back on the forum loobyloo2 . We’re all in the same boat and sometimes we hit rough waters and need help to keep us afloat. Aniety comes out of nowhere and we need to be more open about it as it’s part of grieving for our loved ones and the furure that might have been
Please keep posting it’sl ok to be not ok.x
Your nothing but amazing - keep putting one foot in front of the other x
I’m also feeling very frightened about the future I lost my husband very suddenly 9th Oct, there was no warning, he just collapsed in bathroom, I had 2 Ambo crew, 1 rapid response and air ambulance turn up for him. Since then my son has gone on a path if destruction and has to go to rehab in January, my family all live away, but I have y grandson nearby, he’s 8…I stay awake most of night and don’t get up in morning til 12…I live in rented accommodation and don’t gave any benefits, just worry about me my grandson and my little dog…I haven’t been able to cry yet as I was previously a military wife, so in my head I think he’s away on exercise
My thoughts are with you Cazrix.Since my original post FRIGHTENED there have been lots of posts from you all out there which in a strange way gives comfort.At the same time it’s still hard to contemplate what lies ahead.Life is so hard at times. I can’t sleep tonight hence this post at 4.30 in the morning.I hope your son gets the support too in needs in rehab.I had experience myself of a similar situation.God bless you take care of yourself the tears will come xxxx
Bless you Like you I had been a military wife when my late husband died 17years ago and I too coped by thinking he was away on excise but in time began to realise that wasn’t helping me grieve his loss, his was a sudden death too and the shock and numbness carried me through those early days and weeks too. Hopefully you’ll.be able to access a widow’s pension and have support from SSAFA etc . Please take care and talk to your GP.to see if they can help with counselling etc. Xx
I to feel scared my wife was a nurse so she generally new most things, and when I was admitted sometime ago all the nurses new who I was and kept eye on me, one of the perks of being married to a nurse, but now I get frightened when feel I’ll who’s going to be there for me
I get ready to go shopping then fear takes over
It’s a dreadful feeling
I was so out going before my husband died in June
I question myself all the time confidence is not part of me any more
It’s awful xx
Hi mrsp1923 yes it really is a life changing experience losing somebody that is part of you.It changes everything about you .You are not the person you were.We live our lives with our partner children then wham we are alone .I am a widow of 11 years but also lost my son my only child in March.Being a wife mother was the main part of my life .I was always confident outgoing I still have friends siblings who are great but they have their own families.My family have gone and so is the person I used to be.Hopefully life may improve who knows.My love to you xxxx
Thank you for your kind words
It means a lot xx
Mrsp1923 welcome