I’m so sorry , the pain is unimaginable until
You go through this trauma yourself . I found the funeral a bit of a blur lots of people wanting a little piece of you to offer sympathy . The day after hit me like a train, I had been surrounded by people then suddenly alone and so lost . If you have someone you can have around you the next day i would recommend it x
I think that’s a good idea. Again if you can have anyone around you when you go back for the first time I would . I didn’t live with my partner but stayed at his house a lot. I found in the first couple of weeks after he passed I was comforted being at his house and around his things . Eventually I had to go back to my own home and now when I go to his house I become overwhelmed with sadness , I break down seeing his life standing still in the home we had so many happy memories in . It hurts me to think he will never be there again and eventually I’ll
Have to organise his things . Every step of losing someone is going to bring grief over and over again. All we can do is survive each day and pray it might feel a little less painful in time . Reaching out on here juts expressing what you feel and listening to others helps x
I’m so sorry for your loss. The funeral is not the end. Unfortunately ly it is still the beginning. Remember to take time for yourself. And if you can reflect on what has been. Andys wake ended up more like a party which is what Andy and I both wanted. It was a time when old friends met snd it was very relaxed as we held it in our local pub where we both used to drink and I still do of course. Its important that you do take time for yourself as it is easy to get caught up with socialising and caring for others. It wasn’t easy by any means but in a way it was a celebration of his life.
Hi @ARDG , I felt exactly the same about the funeral being “final”. I was terrified. I never wanted that day to arrive but it did and it was the second worst day of my life.
Life is so cruel and I don’t think we’ll ever understand why these things have happened to the people we love most in this world.
Tomorrow will be hard but you’ll get through it, I can’t tell you how, but you will.
I know everyone always says to think of it as a celebration to which I remember thinking, what is there to celebrate? But when you think about it, we do want it to be the most beautiful and special day for them because that is what they deserve.
In the first few weeks after for me it was all a blur but I can now look back at Miles’s funeral and know that I did my absolute best for him. We didn’t organise a wake but everyone headed to a local pub and it was an evening spent with people that loved him exchanging stories.
Take each hour as it comes tomorrow - it won’t be easy but remember you will get through it.
Coming from someone who was so scared of the funeral being the end, it’s not, there’s so much more to their memory and you will find things along the way where you think “I’m going to do this/go there for Dawn”.
It’s so good that you’ll be waking up the next day with family around you.
I had my other half’s funeral last wed and I’m not gonna lie i was absolutely dreading it being the end of everything didn’t want to go I didn’t want it to happen. The day of the fu era was 1 of my worst days other than day lost him.
But on the actual day u manage 2 get through it and some how find the strength I still don’t know how I did but I did.
It’s not the end of everything I found it’s the end of ppl coming round all the time.
I am now nearly week later walking around like a fsrt in a trance no clue what I’m doing breaking down all the time and going back 2 the doctors tomorrow, im struggling.
Go give her the best send off she deserves tomorrow
Hi @ARDG. I’ve been thinking about you and wondering how you got on today. We have my husband’s funeral next Tuesday and we are dreading it. I’ve tried to help by telling the kids that’s it’s only their dad’s shell/outer casing in the coffin. It’s not HIM, it’s not the essence of the man he was. His personality and spirit will be with us always. I hope today went as well as can be expected xx.