So the funeral is soon. And for the funeral we are sending pictures for the reel or photos that will be presented. Lookimg at them all was the reason i stayed. I hoped hed be that person again. He was an alcoholic and died at 40. But my heart aches i see who he used to be and it hurts. I have children with him.they are 13 and 9 they cried on the first day and now nothing. My 9 year old today said he has had a good 6 weeks bcos we have been doimg things. Before we didnt do much bcos.of his drinking. Why arent they sad or crying? Should i get them.to.talk to someone? I lost my dad at the same.age but i cant remember what i was like
Hello @Idontknow,
I’m so sorry for the loss of your partner. I’m sure someone will be along to share their thoughts about the funeral 
You might find these links helpful in understanding and supporting your children:
- Sue Ryder has a guide on supporting a bereaved child which you may find helpful to read
- Child Bereavement UK supports bereaved children, young people and families through grief. They have in-person and online support groups. They also have a free helpline on 0800 02 888 40, or you can email helpline@childbereavementuk.org.
- Winston’s Wish provides grief and bereavement support for children and young people (up to 25) after the death of someone important. They have a helpline that you can call free on 08088 020 021 between 8am-8pm, weekdays. They also have a live chat feature on their website.
Books can be a good way to help children understand death and grieving. If you search online you can find lots of suggestions. Here is a list from Scholastic you might want to look at.
Take good care and keep reaching out,
Seaneen
@Idontknow Perhaps your children have been living under a cloud for a long time, as you said because of his drinking, and maybe they feel a sense of relief now? Of course they will be terribly sad but aren’t showing it as you might expect. It may be an idea for another adult to take them out on the premise of going for a milkshake or even a walk, and just let them talk if they want to. Sometimes a change of scene and another person showing an interest can make a difference.