Hi
Looking for some advice my mum suddenly passed away on the 4th December.
I’m now caring for my dad who has dementia I’m feeling totally lost trying to arrange mums funeral on my own .
I suffer with extreme anxiety and panic attacks I’m absolutely scared of going to mums funeral and how I will be .
I wake up every morning feeling sick panicking about how I will feel on this day and worried I won’t be able to cope and not attend.
My doctor has given me diazepam but told me to take it the night before mum’s funeral as he said I might fall asleep at the funeral.
I’m so scared of medication I’m only small build and always have side effects to most medication.
Please can anyone advise how to take diazepam and if there are any side effects please
Hi! I’m so sorry you lost your mum. The anticipation of the funeral is often worse than the actual event and even though we don’t think we will cope, we somehow do. And if you should break down, everyone will understand, for sure.
I tend to get strange side effects too. I hope the doctor prescribed a low dose to try? I’ve taken a version of diazepam and taking it hasn’t given me any problems. I haven’t been feeling sleepy either. Everyone is different though, of course. For me the effect doesn’t hold for long, so if there’s a specific event I take it an hour or two beforehand.
I agree with @Ulma - I dreaded the funeral (which I organised, with support from my mum, brother and best friend) but in the end it was a comfort, and I was sad when it came to a close, because I wanted to stay and celebrate my dad. He was fit, well, lively and competent one minute, comatose in ICU the next, and a week later he’d gone. I couldn’t get my head around his photo being on the order of service that I made (his was a direct cremation, so there was no funeral director, and I designed and had the orders of service printed). It was like seeing any person in my life, who is fit, well, and full of life, on the front cover of an order of service. It was zany, to say the least.
But when you’re actually there, at the funeral, I think you’ll feel comforted. As well as distraught, of course. There’s no avoiding that.
Regarding how to take Diazepam I would go to your local Chemist and ask to speak to the Pharmacist they can advise regarding the dosage the GP has prescribed etc.
Sorry for your loss and sending you strength.
Take care
Hi @CB11
Sorry to hear of your sad loss. I would of said with anything to do with medication, ask either the doctor, or at the chemist, they should know best.
As for the anxiety, it might be helpful to think about what helps to keep you calm, I usually use distraction techniques like the alphabet game to stop my brain focusing on whatevers stressing me out, (basically you choose a category, for example animals, colours, countries, or flowers, & go through the alphabet thinking of something of that category beginner with that letter,) there are always breathing techniques where you calm your breathing, take deep slow breaths & just focus on the breath. If it helps, think of it in the sense of time, in context, it’s one day, yes the funeral is an important milestone in the grieving process, but if you dissect the day into time, a day is 24 hours, & the funeral is usually only an hour or 2 long, if you think of it that way, it’s not that long, sometimes it’s best not to think too far ahead, but it is good to have a “just in case” plan. Hope this helps, sending hugs of support.
The anticipation of the funeral is often worse than the actual event and even though we don’t think we will cope, we somehow do. And if you should break down, everyone will understand, for sure. 
