At the beginning of every autumn I make a start on preparing the garden for winter,
So today was the day,my grandson came down to do the heavy lifting,
We started on the garden furniture cleaning it down,oiling up the mechanisms as they rock and swivel now the table,down the centre is a patio heater as he was cleaning the jets he mentioned they weren’t dirty and the gas bottle was already isolated.
I realised it hadn’t been used at all this year,
We used to sit outside on nice but cool evenings for ages talking and watching the flames flicker around the garden and flowers,I must admit I have only just come round,
That’s something else that probably will never get used again.
Yes. It is exactly the same for me. Yesterday I took all the patio furniture cushions back upstairs. They have been sitting in the conservatory where he put them in late May ready for use in the garden. There is also the cleaned pump for the water feature that he was going to fit the next day, and two cantilever garden parasols. They are too big and heavy for me, no point in asking my son to take them up to the loft because they will stay there forever. I just use the smaller, carnivorous one that ate part of my thumb two weeks ago. The swing seat remains unused this year because I can’t get Katie out of her wheelchair and into it. The sun-loungers never even made it out of the loft this year.
Perhaps by next year I will have enough enthusiasm to buy new stuff that I can actually use. And get rid of the things that are of no use now.
It’s all very sad. Especially as when I was making room for the cushions I clapped my eyes on all the boxes of Christmas stuff. But that is a rabbit hole that I am not getting into until I have no choice.
Xx
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Same for me too today Ron. Starting the tidy up for winter. Barbeque and fire pit never lit this year and all the cushions still in their vac packs. It’s dry and still here today and we would have probably sat out with a fire tonight having a well earned drink.
Life will never be the same again .
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In truth I am only just realising how every part of our lives this has touched,think I may have taken one rung back down the ladderXx
I know Jody.
I gave our barbecue to my grandson as I will never use it again,the house has so many things we happily shared together and now all lost.
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There is no denying that every aspect of life is impacted. Unfortunately I can’t turn the clocks back, even though I would give everything I own in exchange for having Jeremy back by my side. I cannot alter what has already happened. What matters now is how I deal with it.
It’s bloody hard work but I have to climb out of the swamp and start to look for some sunshine. If I wallow in it for too long I will forget how to climb and what the sun looks like.
It’s tempting to give in and sink into the mud. When I lost my first husband that is what I did for three years. Everyone is different and grieves in their own way. There is no rule book, but in my experience, the agony lasted as long as I allowed it to. I had to fight my demons to overcome it last time and that is what I am fighting to do now.
I try not to even mentally acknowledge the snakes and rabbit holes.
Some people probably think I use distraction. Perhaps I do, but it works for me most of the time. I still have sad times, I cry sometimes. But I refuse to let the grim reaper take my life as well as Jeremy’s. Whether I like it or not, only one of us died that day.
And now I have to deal with it. And I bloody well intend to.
Xx
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I would do exactly the same to bring Lesley back,as you say it ain’t gonna happen.
So I have to start on a new path,it will be hard but it would be too easy to wallow,my nephew wants me to join the biker group(minus the bike)my grandson in law wants me to join him going to car shows(I know a bit about cars)up until now I would have said no,but bugger it I am going to do both.Xx
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Well I haven’t taken the furniture down yet in the garden. I thought about it. I started cutting down some dead flowers and taking a bag full into the brown recycling bin. I ought to sweep up and start again lopping stray branches.
I can’t imagine this yet I will do as much.
Just do the best I can. I am not very motivated to plant bulbs. As long as it looks reasonably tidy. I don’t have any smart things to be concerned about.
Just a parasol to put in the garage and drag the metal table and two chairs round the side. Bring in a few geraniums to over winter in the lobby.
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Ooh…garden furniture, barbecues, fire pits…
I’ve just got a wooden garden bench and a mess of partly-weeded beds, which are currently starting to be buried in falling leaves. A tidy garden would be nice, but I haven’t got the energy any more.
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Talking of paths, I have almost decided to do away with my lawn and have blocks or bricks put down. It would be easier to push a wheelchair across the garden. The lawn looks nice and is a good foil for the flower beds, and I will be sorry to lose it. But, needs must. I won’t have to mow it, the pesky squirrels won’t be able to bury acorns, hazel nuts and conkers in it either. There is a manhole drain cover in it though. I don’t know if the drain cover means I am stuck with the lawn. I will have to look into it. The problem, I mean, not the manhole. I already looked into that, not a man to be seen! And I could have done with one to help me lift the wheelchair when we got stuck.
Xx
Have you thought of a thyme lawn? No mowing required, and you could put a path through it for the wheelchair. A lovely scent all summer.
Surely the manhole could be incorporated into the path. After all our cul de sac is brick and it has manholes in it.