Gardening is therapeutic is it for you? Some say not but seeing the plants die and come up again later is satisfying. It calms me pulling out weeds and nurturing seeds as they grow and some dying eaten by snails and yet some grow against the odds. Not exactly a memorial garden as such but our garden kind of is.
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I love gardeninng too, it makes me sad too though as me and my David loved to sit in the garden. Right now i am doing gardening but dont sit in it for lobg ss i get too sad. That is slowly getting easier though x
I agree.
I have t done much for over a year, our garden became a bit of a bramble jungle .
Last few days I’ve had a massive cut back. Looks a bit brutal but the physicality of it was really good.
I can’t move my arms now but that’s okay!!!
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It will have done it good and will come back next year better than it was. Hope your arms recover quickly. X
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Yes, I love gardening. John had no patience with weeding and planting, so it’s always been my space. I do find it comforting to be out there.
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Following my counsellor’s advice, I have made our garden a ‘memorial garden’ : I’ve written messages to him along the flower bed; put up some solar lights that light up at night. It seems to work wonders as I feel so loved, comforted and peaceful whenever I am out there doing something, planting, weeding, watering or even just sitting there letting my thoughts flow - it’s so therapeutic…so healing.
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I have lost two husbands, both to sudden cardiac arrest. The first time I found gardening to be my solace. It was a very large garden and I made lots of changes, putting stepping stones in the lawn, making a wild corner and two small paved areas for garden furniture. That was 20 years ago.
I got married again 5 years after losing my first husband. We bought a new house. My second husband took early retirement and we did the gardening together, planning it how we wanted it to be. Being a newly built house we started from scratch. It was our hobby and we spent many hours out there.
I suppose I still enjoy looking after it, but I also find it painful because he isn’t with me, and there’s nobody to share it with when it looks nice. And I feel guilty if I don’t look after it in the same way.
We had 150 different rose varieties, three of them have died since I lost him. My sensible head says they would have died anyway because they are over 10 years old, my widow head says I must have neglected them.
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@Willow112 your garden sounds glorious.
You’ve been through so much , it’s good you have that green space, even if sometimes it feels hard
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Gardening has definitely been my saviour. I did wonder if I had taken on too much taking on 2 of his 3 allotments. I have had fresh veg all year, and I should have potatoes and onions to last me through. I certainly feel close to Jim at the allotments, but a part of me wishes he could have got me more involved while he was still around. I miss his knowledge.
I couldn’t let him loose on my flowerbeds though. Anything could be seen as weed - lost lots of plants that way. On the plus side there was always the 'spending opportunity ’ to buy something we both liked. He would be horrified at the bright pink tulips i bought today 
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My “controlling “ ex husband who was found dead in January would never let me be involved in the garden so I had no interest ! My lovely new husband passed away suddenly in April , he taught me to love gardening , he enjoyed “shady green plants “ and I enjoyed colourful flowers , so we had “his and hers “ parts of the garden , now I have had to read up on all the shade plants , he also had a lot of house plants , I do get some comfort looking after his plants watching them grow .
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I was interested how to put messages in the garden but seems no different like putting messages on flowers on a grave. My dad didn’t have a grave as was cremated. So I used to put a statue in the garden instead on his birthday with flowers and card as he loved statues.
Might get another bird table as my husband loved feeding birds and cat eats them which is upsetting so would perhaps fox her
It looks lovely. I do love roses.
My husband’s ashes were scattered on the rose beds at the local crematorium which is just down the lane where I live. They told me which bed. It contains several roses of the variety “Renaissance”. We/I just happen to have the same rose in our garden. We chose it together a few years ago.
I spent a couple of hours in the garden this afternoon. Mostly pruning and tying up the roses. There is some solace to be had looking after nature.
You garden looks lovely. Xx
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Thank you. Yellow roses in my garden labelled ‘Virgo’ his star sign when I bought them, and it was a miracle that last year they fully blossomed on his birthday week in September while all other roses in my garden did not! I took that as a sign he was telling me he was okay - that made me happy to know he was okay. Sounds crazy but it happened to me so it’s true…not crazy.
Spending time in the garden is so therapeutic and especially comforting when in ‘memorial garden’ 
Take care 
xx
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Thanks for sharing how you did your memorial garden.
Looks very well kept
And understand that because when my baby died 42 years ago I planted up his grave and continued for many years but now just make sure his headstone is legible.
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Last year I tried to do some of the allotment but it was too much for me.
I just feel too tired this year. It has been harder doing my garden this year but I still do what I can.
It is my sanctuary where I find love, comfort and peace just to sit there feeling him beside me that’s all I need when feeling empty and lonely 
Wow, 42 years that is a very long time to be maintaining it - I hope I will live long enough to be keeping it tidy many more years to come.
I’ve planted some rose and lavender trees on his grave too and I go to water them every weekend. I can see some people taking their deck chair to sit and read by the grave - not a bad idea!
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I had a memorial bench erected by my husband’s grave from the collection at his funeral. Other people like to sit there and have sat next to me too. There is a lovely ginger cat who comes and sits there too. There are sheep in the next field. Some folk have planted a garden in the grave and water it. I used to years ago but not now but like idea of it in a special corner in my garden
A memorial bench such a great idea! There isn’t one near my husband’s grave so last summer my daughter and I used to take a big blanket to sit on and talk to him giving him company - it was lovely. I too have a mini garden with rose and lavender trees on top of the grave - I am thinking of adding more lavender in a couple of weeks. Miss him so much 
It’s coming up to 2 years since my wife died I’ve not been keeping the gardens very well I’ve been doing lawns and hedges but borders are a total mess as that was my dear wife’s dept i keep thinking i won’t do them thi king her doing them which she loved and kept them immaculate does that sound strange and silly