I booked my wedding today to my long term partner .
The wedding should feel me with excitement and happiness, But the truth is I feel heart broken, empty and so emotional,
My mum who passed away back in June 23 wanted me to see me settled and be happy , and always said I couldn’t get married abroad without her !
My dad should be walking me down the isle feeling proud and happy and having that especial moment between us but he passed away july 23
I feel guilty for not doing it sooner when they were alive so they could be there .
My partner has a big family and wants them there … but I don’t I want that .
I just want my partner and two witness Friends not family as it’s not a big thing and I don’t want a fuss .
He now wants a big party after … How can I get through this day as I fills me with great sadness 
and a party fills me with dread and sadness.
I wanted to slip away quietly a just go on a wonderful honeymoon with breath taking scenery with us together.
He can’t see my views and said it’s not his mum / dad’s fault why should they miss out … this hurts me more because I can’t have mine there !
Hello @Christrine ,
I’m so sorry for the loss of your parents and how difficult you are finding your wedding planning. Thank you for sharing this with us. I’m just giving your thread a gentle, “bump” for you - hopefully someone will have some thoughts to share.
Take good care,
Alex