Getting worse!!!!

Coping with bereavement
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Hi all,
A little context first!!
I’m 53 and a single man, I was caring for my beautiful father for 12 years 24/7 until he passed away on 21st November aged 83,I lost my mum in 1998 aged 55…unexpectedly!!! Anyway, that was nothing compared to what I’m going through now…it’s now over 13 weeks and I’m definitely getting worse, every day Brings something new , fear,confusion,restlessness are just some of the symptoms at the moment, I’ve been accepted for a carers course in September but I feel as if I should be better…as well as the Financial insecurities!!! I should also mention that I find that the mornings are very difficult, Thanks for taking the time to read my utterings!! Any advice would be appreciated?
Patrick

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Hi
It is still early days for you. I’m so sorry for your loss.
Anxiety and worry after bereavement are natural and look at the events in our world! It just makes things worse.
So will you be training as a carer? What will the job involve? If so it could really help you, by being able to help others.

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Thanks Rachel,
Yes,I’ll be training as a carer for the older person…to be honest, I actually don’t know what I really want to do!!! I do want to get out of the house though…my head is a dangerous place!! I forgot to mention that my gp has put me forward for counselling but if I’m really honest, I’m not expecting a magic bullet…so to speak

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Hi Patrick,

So sorry to hear of your losses. I was the carer for my partner who passed away in March he was a year younger than you. I think when you have been the carer for the one you love and loose it is almost a double lot of grief.

I have photos of Andy when he was fit and well and we were enjoying life and some of him right near the end and he looked like a different person. He did have a personality disorder so I was used to having many “different” personalities in our life together but I loved them all equally.

When I look at all his photos it’s like I grieve for each and everyone of them. Take your time to grieve and use the CRUSE helpline staff really is so helpful.

Best of luck with your course you will obviously be able to bring a lot of knowledge to the table from a personal point of view. I know being a carer I had to have so many skills to get through the day and all the loop holes!

You are strong and you can do this tell your story and that of your parents to help you through.

Take care
Paula
XxX

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Thanks Paula for your kind words :blush:

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One step forward - two steps backwards that’s what it feels like sometimes!
Day by day is really a good way to start.

Is there anywhere in your community where you could volunteer - doing odd jobs, help out at food banks, driving patients to appointments - something along those lines?
Hope that’s the sort of advice you were asking for.
G. X

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Thanks @Grandma !!!
I hear you and that’s so important for my mental health!! It’s difficult though but I’ve started even at this early stage, one day at a time even one minute at a time,I’m actually not too bad today but that’ll change :grinning:

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