Hi Ron.
I know exactly how you feel.
It’s the truth and accountability we need.
Money won’t get out beautiful loved ones back.
I remind myself of how my handsome blue eyed
Man was and is always to me .
How he looked eleven days later in their “care”
At the time I did ask questions and asked for things to be done.
Please what about a shave his hands are dirty can you wash them ( basic care) nothing medical.
I should have insisted and demanded more even
speaking to a consultant who had seen him before and knew about him .They were not available.It was always someone different and junior
I will forever believe that I let him down.
Comfort and love to all. Doreen. Can’t
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You should never ever think you let him down,I bet you did your very best,you should have no recriminations,when I was badly injured the military hospital I was in was like chalk and cheese,I was bathed,shaved,fed and watered good food(even a tipple or two)
That’s how it should be for everyone,I truly despair the direction of this country.
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My husband fell in Madeira and broke his hip. He then developed heart and lung complications, ended up with tracheostomy, air repatriated to U.K. Then in intensive care for 2 months but died of sepsis. He couldn’t speak to me for last 3 months of his life. I feel I should have fought harder to save him both in Madeira and UK but I trusted doctors. Just miss him so much
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I am willing to bet you fought as hard as you could just like I did,the problem is most nursing staff and doctors don’t care anymore it all boils down pound notes,specialist care is expensive,and we wouldn’t want the CEO not to get his huge pay increase now would we?
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Yes I did, only went for weeks holiday and spent 6 weeks in Madeira. The travel insurance company were useless so he spent 6,weeks in public hospital. By the time they agreed to transfer to private hospital it was too late. A week before he died in UK they put him on non resuscitation programme because of c.diff infection but at no time was sepsis mentioned. There was a PM that certified major organ failure/sepsis. The coroner said hospital not at fault, Hopefully your case will be successful
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Hi Ron
So sorry to hear this…the NHS along with the rest of this country is sadly broken. Life doesn’t mean anything anymore and the anger for me (I have been on the receiving end of nhs neglect too with my dad’s death), is that they know people are grieving and in an emotional state and hope that nobody pursues anything but not only for our loved one’s but for others in the future we have to go the legal route to ensure this doesn’t happen to anyone else. Every single human being deserves the best and right care, dignity and as peaceful a death as possible. I have seen and heard some shocking cases and one of my biggest fears now is having to end up in hospital. Keep fighting Ron, your wife deserves justice x
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Hi Lyn, quiet here for the last couple of nights. How are you doing?
It seems everyone is having a bit of a dip. Xx
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Youre so right @Willow112
So many of us seem to have had a big dip this week.
Lets hope we all get up together
X x
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Thanks Lyn.
I fully intend to thanks for your support.
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Hi Jane
I try to limit my time online, not just on here but I do find sometimes reading of everyone’s pain and heartbreak can pull you down as well, so I tend to dip in and out. I had a low a few weeks ago but on the up swing recently, it really is up and down.
How are you lovely?
I have been watching my mum, your dad on ITV3 and even though none of them are bereaved, you can see the loneliness they are all experiencing and how it affects their confidence and self esteem. It seems not having a partner is quite detrimental to our mental health xx
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I have to agree with you Lyn, I have also limited my time on here, it is difficult because you have traveled this dreadful path with so many on here, I also dip in and out but sometimes I just need a break from the sadness, I assume it is all part of learning to cope a bit better, I still have awful days where I just can’t get a grip but during these times I know I have had better times and it is this that keeps you battling on, it is six months and 1 day since I lost my wife, I withdrew from “normal” life but I now make myself do things, go out shopping if I have to, call on the one or two understanding family and friends now and again, I also put up with the ones that call on me with no clue of what it is about but at least they have called!
It really is a very slow journey, a roller coaster, 2 steps forward and 3 back, days of sorrow, anxiety, irritation at other people, disbelief, what the hell do I do now etc etc, but a lot of you know this and others, sadly, have it to learn.
I have just let it take it’s course, I don’t set goals, I don’t make plans, I post on here to vent frustrations and to try and help even a little bit, the poor souls who have just found themselves in this club but I know life will never be the same (rather obvious!) I never was the soul of the party or even sociable! so I think I can accept the quiet, probably a little recluse life that is ahead, who knows?!
I am still a member of this club as I know I shall continue to need it.
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Agree, I also see all the newly bereaved people on here who want to be out of this pain, heartbreak and loneliness and asking if it gets better, this was once me too but now strangely I let the grief in fully and sometimes welcome it, as it reminds me of the love I had and the gratitude I feel for having that love and the connection with my husband. I also accept grief is also the loss of self and having to come to terms that it has changed me forever and some of that grief/change has made me a better person. The loneliness is the difficult part for me and the sadness but you learn how to cope with it but it all takes time, grief will not be rushed, skipped or ignored, it’s the total of expression of the love you feel and finding a new outlet for that love. I too try to help others that have been where I once was but it is a solitary journey that only went ourselves can negotiate but being amongst others who understand it is a huge support and for me better than any counselling. 6mths is still early days and I love the maturity and compassion you show. Keep trucking on Lyn
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Hi everyone
I am in desperate need of some support tonight.
It is 21 weeks tonight at 10-30 pm since my
Wonderful Sam passed away.
I have been very very down these past two days
and even more so today and tonight.
I will again cover my clock so I can’t see the time
as I lie in bed.
I am beside myself and have been crying on and off all day.
I miss him and our life so much.
Doreen x
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It is just heartbreaking. I never expected to be in this position. I never gave it a though. The lonliness and sadness is beyond anything I have ever experienced. Sending you a huge hug xx
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My husband died at the end of May. I don’t look at dates, or count the weeks anymore. Birthdays and special dates are just another day. I don’t register the time it happened.
It’s just how I manage. Too many significant times, days and dates.
Every day is the same as the last. But I think that bit, by bit, I am getting used to it. Not loving it, and wishing with all my heart that it wasn’t so. But, what choice do we have?
Sending hugs xx
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Hi Dol I am sorry you are feeling this way, I had a meltdown yesterday at the Drs and cried all day ended up crying myself to sleep. This road we find ourselves on is awful and I can’t see any end to it. It is 2 months since my Ray passed away in bed beside me 7 weeks after being diagnosed with Bile Duct Cancer 10 days after our 52nd Wedding Anniversary. We need to allow ourselves time to grieve there is no time limit. Sending you a hug
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Dear Doreen, I am so sorry that you are down tonight. It comes over us all and the emotion we feel is imaginable unless you have gone through a loss like ours x
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So sorry.
Like others here, I understand .
Sending you a big hug xx
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Thank you so much for support xxx
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Thank you so much.
It is true unless you have walked in our shoes
You can never ever understand.
Sympathy yes which I appreciate .
Thank you for message I was in bits last night.
Doreen x
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