It’s a little over 10 months since my husband died,eight weeks after his cancer diagnosis. Over the last week I have started to feel the grief getting more intense again.My tummy is in so many knots I don’t want to eat,which makes me feel worse.
Is this “normal”behaviour? I don’t want to see people but force myself out. I try to focus on the 50 years we had ….together and be positive,but it’s so hard….
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It really is so upsetting isn’t it. I have a permanent sinking feeling. It still doesn’t seem real that he’s not able to come back. Its so so sad.
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Sending love to you, and everyone feeling the same. Even though it is over a year since my husband died, and just when I thought I had begun to feel I was coping alright, I feel now back to ‘square one’ as I realise that I have been trying to shelve my feelings, as I drove the few miles each day to look after my daughter’s dog and help her out, giving me a purpose to my life …now that our beautiful dog died last month, I feel no longer needed, and the pain and anxiety has become even worse than before.
I can relate so much to the anxiety and emptiness you are feeling - I have been persuaded by my daughters to see a private counsellor this week but I honestly feel that I just need more company and to be able to see and chat to people who understand.
I have made myself go to a seniors ballet class today, which was nice and at least an hour’s respite and have started salsa class on Thursday evenings - maybe if you like the idea of something like that it might be worth trying - (actually all kinds of things keep being suggested to me, by way of keeping going, but many just aren’t appealing!!!)
I know it sounds selfish, but when neighbours/friends/family are all going on trips/days out etc it makes me feel a bit jealous and more lonely but I know that many people in our position feel the same.
I am told things will get better, so here’s hoping that will be true very soon for you too!
Lots of love X
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Hi Rosiejack, I wish you strength to get through tomorrow and I will be thinking of you.
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It seems having a sense of humour even in grief and even being a bit risqué can cause some people offence,thank you I will now remove myself from this forum bye.
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Oh no don’t go
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I dont know what post you mean Ray but I dont think anything is worth leaving and losing support from. Hugs jo xxc
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Sometimes Ron thats all we have left is a sense of humour and the ability to laugh at ourselves. I know without my sense of humor I would be knackerd. 
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A sense of humour is never a bad thing. Carry on posting because whatever keeps us all going is good! X
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I am listening to my music and it really helps lift my spirits, this song is called …the Eyes of Truth by Enigma 
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I lost my husband 20 months ago and I rarely post now, but still read posts quite often. I have done so more lately, in the main, to read yours and Willow’s responses. We all need people like you, who in their deepest grief, can bring a smile to many of us. Please don’t leave the forum @Ron11.
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Please don’t leave. I enjoy your posts
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It would be a shame if you stop posting, Ron. Anything that raises a smile is always welcome. It is a glimmer of hope in a very dark tunnel. We are all in the depths of despair and a bit of light relief now and then is an important reminder that life will get better eventually.
I don’t want to spend the rest of my life in a swamp of misery, my kids deserve better and I appreciate anyone trying to drag me out, even for a few minutes. That’s long enough to take a deep breath before I get sucked back under.
Xx
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Thank you for your posts of support and the many many PMs I’ve received.
It’s taken a while to compose myself.
I never thought trying to inject a touch of humour into our grief stricken lives would cause such a reaction.
But hey ho tomorrow’s another day in paradise or as Willow said the swamp,
Oh dear another joke.
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Long may you continue to inject a little humour into our sad lives
Laughter is good for all of us
Thankyou @Ron11 for cheering us all
(well most of us)
Big hugs
X x
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Ron the banter between you and Willow injects a touch of humour and normality into this long and lonely road I find myself on and I for one look forward to it.
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Ron, if you’re trying to be funny, you better try harder.
Welcome back to the swamp.
Honestly, I take a couple of hours off to go to a Tai Chi class, and he’s off in a huff!
Too precious, by half.
Xx
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Just had a thought you and I could become the bereavement Morecambe and Wise or Cannon and ball oh hell another joke.Xx
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Alright then, but you have to be the short, fat, hairy one.
It’s only fair, because Eric Morcambe was a Luton Town Football Club fan. I live in Luton, (somebody has to).
Besides, Eric was the funnier of the two.
Xx
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