Same here Roni 52……lost my other half August 20th this year……
I feel the long dark nights will give me an excuse to just shut out the world and hide…
All these firsts……does everyone keep thinking like me, this time last year he was still here …… I would give anything to see his face and hug him one more time….
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Oh willow112…
Thank you for making me laugh for the first time in ages…….
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Oh Rose, I’m so sorry…
Sometimes it is all just too much to bear….
Sending you love and hugs …….you’re not alone xxxxxx
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Heartache is truly the word for what we are all feeling. Looking at happy photo’s and video’s, some as recent as April, on his birthday, have me in floods of tears. He is the one who loved me, even with all my faults. Happy pictures now make me feel so sad and lonely. And yes, there are ‘firsts’ all the time. I’ve heard that early grief lasts 2 years. Thats what we’re all going through now…it is so so hard and only those who have been through it themselves understand.
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I’ve been doing ok, since Friday I’ve been clawing my back up the rollercoaster with minimal tears
Now one phone call and I’m in bits again.
When will this ever stop
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I’ve been on this roller coaster for 11 months it’s very lonely very tearful
I do have some good days when I’m around the family .But on the whole I’m on my own just trying to got though each day as it comes
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Sorry to hear everyone is suffering, i have also been in floods of tears the last few days. It seems to come in spikes. To much time alone isnt helping either. I have just been sat sobbing to my cancer nurse bless her she is calling back later to see if I am ok. I only rang because my check up is overdue. Xxx
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Hi Liz.
Not been able to settle today at all,so now the house is sparkling,washing and drying done just need ironing after lunch now.
RonXxx
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Hi Ron,
I have a basket of ironing needed attention and being ex military like Ray you will be very good at it 
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Hello Jo
Sorry you are down and lonely me too.
It just comes down the track then Boom.
I have been very down since last weekend crying and
going over every thing in my mind and also out loud.Trouble is another weekend is looming.
Se g
My poor little dog must wonder who I am talking
to.
I am recalling things from 40 years ago things we said things we did places we went .
We were so wrapped up in each other people used to comment on it.
Then I am back to this time last year last Xmas
Last Easter ???
I can’t stop this.
I am dreading Xmas dreading my birthday because Sam used to make it so special.
I have absolutely no idea how I am going to cope or if at all.
That’s enough about me.
I was concerned when you mentioned your cancer nurse.
I don’t want to intrude but I hope regarding that
you are not poorly.Daft thing so say to you I know.
Sending you comfort and love. Doreen x
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Sadly yes.
All the right creases in all the right places,not too sure my wife would be too pleased me handling another woman’s frillys though🤣
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It’s ok don’t iron them 
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And the hits just keep on coming,postman delivered my appt for covid/flu jab and the invoice for her headstone,where is Willow and her jet wash when you need her.
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Punching a bank manager in the face
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Either that or wearing a yellow jump suit.
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No jury would ever convict.
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Ron
So sorry so sad for you. know what you mean about the hits
When I got the invoice from the funeral director
I too just folded.
I have my Sam with me here as he wanted his ashes on the mantle piece.
I remember laughing this was a long time ago
when we never thought it would actually happen.
I said to him don’t know about that but how about the hearth.
He laughed and said that would fine as long as he was back in his own home.
Love and comfort Doreen x
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Hi Doreen.
Sorry you are sat in my grief trench,I too found myself recalling memories past,it really does punch you in the stomach,they say if talking to yourself is the first sign of madness,I must be ready for a straight jacket,take care love and be kind to yourself.
Love and hugs to you and doggy.
RonXx
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Right, I am here, ready with my jet washer, no yellow jumpsuit though.
I have offended just about everyone today. The bank forwarded closing balance of my husband’s ISA to my solicitor for some obscure reason. The solicitor paid a lower amount into my account. I queried it, they apologised and sent the difference. I opened an APS ISA with exact amount, as instructed. Then I received closing balance notice of original ISA which was different again. Suspecting the solicitor had got it wrong again, I lit a fire under them. Then I decided to ring the bank myself. It turns out that after telling me the balance, they went and deducted his credit card amount owing - without telling me.
So, I had upset the solicitor for no reason. I was furious and the bank put me through to an officious twat who started the conversation with “I am the Banker here, not you”. I told him to learn to spell……replace the B with a W.
I am not popular with my bank or my solicitor anymore.
Hey-ho.
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Thank you Ron ,
We are off out now for our walk.
Thank god for my little lavender.
She never gives up and sits right in front off me
until I get up then goes barmy when I get her
Lead.
It will be food as soon as we get back for her.
My food !!! that’s a different matter.
Done quick and easy and no nutrition.Yum
Love and comfort Doreen x
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