Dave4, The similarities are stark, Jacqui was only 58. I keep asking her to come back. Her ashes were returned to me today, so in one way she is back, but that was so hard taking hold of the casket with its little plaque. Loads more tears, and shouting for her to come back. I really don’t know how to face the future.
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Hi guys I’m just the same I just want Tony back. It’s almost 6 months but the pain is just horrendous
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I am just the same, Stapes. I keep asking Lillian to come back and take me with her. I go to sleep at night and hope I won’t wake up in the morning, I miss her that much.
I don’t know why she had to leave me. I can’t bear being without her, my life is nothing now.
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It’s awful, I can be sitting almost calm and a surge like a tsunami shoots into my mind, he’s not here, I’m on my own. God help me, this is some kind of hell. It’s total anguish, nobody calls to ask how I am or even just a call. I never knew I would be 65 and so very alone and broken hearted. I’ve had to get out of the house very early again today, sit in a cafe with people around me
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I’m just the same, Lost12.
Sudden thoughts overwhelm me and I can’t stop crying.
I can’t bear being in the house. My local Salvation Army have a coffee morning on Fridays so I’m going there today.
I will have to come back to an empty house eventually but I will face that when I have to.
David, so sorry, isn’t it awful, the being alone inside is just too sad for me and too lonely. I would love to scoop all of us up and find a lovely warm space for us to be together, all totally understanding each other. 
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Hi Lost12,
I’ve just got back from the coffee morning. I had to do some shopping afterwards which I didn’t mind as it meant being out of the house a bit longer.
I tried to keep myself together but there were Christmas decorations up and I broke down in tears. A couple of people talked to me which helped but I am back in the cold, silent, empty house again.
It would be lovely for us all to be together, all warm and understanding each other. The loneliness is horrendous. Since Lillian died, my world has turned into a dark, cruel and cold place. She was the only person who loved me and now she’s gone.
I am finding life really hard and I know I’m not the only one.
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Hi DAVE, I know, I’m sat in my empty house wondering what to do. Someone has just left and I thought they were staying longer. I don’t know what to do now, do I go out the door again as the strong urge makes me want to, or do I stay in. I feel so terribly lonely, even more now someone has been round. The silence is deafening and the radio is on
Hi Lost12,
That happened to me this morning. I met a friend at the coffee morning I went to but he didn’t stay long. I felt exactly the same as you did. In the end I did a bit of shopping but that was depressing. Meals for one etc.
After my friend left, I spoke to a lady who said she tries to spend most of the day out of the house. She lost her husband 18 months ago and being in the house still affects her.
I know how bad it feels when someone visits then leaves, especially when they leave sooner than expected. It emphasises the loneliness. It’s almost worse than if they hadn’t visited in the first place.
I would have gone out. I hate being in the house. The trouble is it is so cold outside and I have found myself sitting in my car wondering what to do next.
I have looked online for bereavement support groups but I can’t find any in my area. I need somewhere to go to talk to people who know what we are going through. I don’t need a counsellor who has never lost anyone in their life and is just repeating what they have read in a text book. It is so obvious when they do that.
The sad thing is that we end up going home to an empty house at some point. I can’t stand it.
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Same here, I have looked online too but there isn’t any near me. I really want to talk to and see people, very important when you are as lonely as we are.
Yes I often sit somewhere wondering where I am going next.
Awful isn’t it
It makes such a difference to talk to people who have actually experienced it