Hello there,
I just wanted to share a thing that happened on 8th November. For those who don’t know me, my beloved husband Tom died in January 22. Before he died, we were about as close as any couple can get - constantly in touch - linked by love and two mobile phones that Tom bought in a deal in 2020, just before he became seriously ill. These phones were our lifeline, our connection when he was in hospital for 8 months with cancer, alone for most of that time, because of Covid’s visiting rules.
My handset blew up about 18 months ago, so I swapped my SIM into Tom’s. It remained my link with him. Lots of photos on there that I had forgotten about and others, too, taken by him when he was so ill, in the hospital and by mistake, as his faculties failed him. It was itself an insight into his suffering and loneliness - Covid visiting meant I could be there only 1 hour a day. For months.
Anyway, this handset was long out of contract and starting to fail. I kept meaning to go Vodaphone and upgrade, but just couldn’t finally part with it.
The phone became more and more cranky - yet I hung on to it - just not ready to say goodbye at all.
Then, the day I was leaving for the Middle East on a holiday with my widower friend, it happened. I was in the loo, fixing my hair before the taxi came to take us to the airport. I reached over to get something and… the phone fell from my shallow pocket and into the loo… Argh! I snatched it out quickly - but the damage was done… The phone spluttered, fizzed, got very hot, then shut down.
Strangely - I was relieved. The decision had literally been taken out of my hands. I realized at once - the phone was not the link to Tom, I am. My memories and my never -ending love for him.
I trudged up to Vodaphone when I got back from holiday and am now the owner of a fancy new phone that is, my dear reader, ABSOLUTELY FABULOUS!
I am sure that Tom knew I needed a push on this, so came to see me in that loo and, exasperated, snatched it out of my hand and flushed it himself - “just give me that phone” he said, “for heaven’s’ sake…”
When you need a push to do something, friends, Tom’s advice is - just flush it!
Hold tight, everyone, there are brighter days ahead.
Your friend,
Vancouver xx
. I think to some degree we all keep things to remember our loved ones, it’s understandable, sometimes to loose something of theirs, it can feel like loosing another part of them, but your right, it can’t take away our memories. I’m glad to hear you’re looking on this with such positivity.